Menstrual Rag Lyrics - Singles - Adam Kay & Suman Biswas

Once a month your girl's upset 

She goes to Boots to buy Lilets 

It happens every 28 days, 

When she's in her Luteal phase. 

All she does in moan and nag, 

You go five days without a shag 

There's no cunnilingus 

You can only use your fingers 

When she's using a menstrual rag. 

For the week or two preceeding 

The days your other half is bleeding, 

The moody bitch is in a stress 

Complaining about PMS and, 

When her womb has started sluffin, 

You won't be eatin any muffin, 

Two, four, six, eight, 

Come on girls, lets menstruate. 

Heavy flow or gentle spotting, 

Running down her legs or clotting 

All that lining that she sheds leaves 

Nasty patches on your bedsheets. 

Just don't waste your efforts pleading 

You won't be shagging when she's bleeding 

The Methenamic acid means you might as well be flaccid 

When she's using a menstrual rag. 

It's hard to be all that devoted 

When she is looking fat and bloated 

From all the water she's retaining, 

While her pants have nasty staining. 

You won't be doing any groping 

When she's losing haemoglobin, 

Two, four, six, eight, 

Come on girls, lets menstruate.