The New Chanukah Song Lyrics - Adam Sandler

Chanukah is the festival of lights 

Instead of one day of presents 

We get eight crazy nights 

So when you feel like the only kid in town 

Without a Christmas tree 

Here's a new list of people who are Jewish 

Just like you and me 

Winona Ryder drinks Manachevett's wine 

Then spins a dreidel with Ralph Lauren and Calvin Klein 

Guess who gives and receives loads of Chanukah toys 

The girls from Veruca Salt and all three Beastie Boys 

Lenny Kravits is half Jewish 

Courtney Love is half, too 

Put them together 

What a funky, bad-ass Jew! 

We got Harvey Keitel 

And flash dancer Jennifer Bill 

Yasmine Bleeth from Baywatch is Jewish 

And, yes, her boobs are real 

Put on that yarmulke 

It's time for Chanukah 

Two time Oscar winner Dustin Hoffmonica celebrates Chanukah 

OJ Simpson, still not a Jew 

But guess who is 

The guy who does the voice for Scooby Doo 

Bob Dylon was born a Jew 

Then he wasn't, but now he's back 

Mary Tyler Moore's husband is Jewish 

'Cause we're pretty good in the sack 

Guess who got barmitzvahhed on the PGA Tour 

No, I'm not talking about Tiger Woods 

I'm talking about Mr. Happy Gilmore 

So many Jews are in the showbiz 

Bruce Springstein isn't Jewish 

But my mother thinks he is 

Tell that ho Lamonica 

It's time to celebrate Chanukah 

It's not pronounced CH-anukah 

The C is silent in Chanukah 

So read your hooked on phonica 

Get drunk in Tiajuanica 

If you really, really wannaca 

Have a happy, happy, happy, happy, Chanukah 

Hapyy Chanukah!