Drive Better Drunk Lyrics - Afroman

[Chorus: 2x] 

Don't grab my keys when the party's over 

I drive better drunk, than you do sober 

[Verse 1] 

I don't know what you've been told 

I've been drinkin since 12 years old 

Started in 1988 

Hangin at the liquor store real real late 

I drunk a swallow, I drunk a cup 

Drunk the bottle, I threw up 

Over the years, I learned to pace it 

Get kinda tipsy, but not that wasted 

I like beer, but I love malt liquor 

'cause malt liquor, get me drunk quicker 

Stop on the freeway, take a whiz 

Hop in my Cadillac and handle my biz 

I drive better drunk than I do sober 

'cause when I'm sober right 

I think I can make through the, red light 

Go, go, go, I hope I'm not dead right 

But when I'm drunk, I know I can't 

So I ain't, I drive like a saint 

Drinkin is a class I did not flunk 

I'm a Colt 45 certified drunk 

[Chorus: 2x] 

[Verse 2] 

I dropped outta school in 9-0 

Became the world's greatest wino 

I drink at home, I drink at work 

Ignore the boss, he just a jerk 

I drink 12:00 in the day 

Relax my nerve, serve my yay' 

When my day go bad, I always drink 

Calm down, relax and think 

Only days we like to clown 

A 24-ounce 'fore the sun go down 

On weekends, that's when it's cool 

To drink a 40-ounce, and act a fool 

Once I get into that zone 

I leave that beer and that liquor alone 

I can barely walk, I can barely talk 

But I can glide that Cadillac like a hawk 

[Chorus: 2x] 

[Verse 3] 

I ran from the cops in the rain 

With my church shoes on 

I drove from Palmdale, California to Compton 

Drunk two 40-ounces, Old English 800, the club ended 

All the homies left my in the parkin lot toe' back 

Wasn't nobody out there but me and the sheriff department 

Fell asleep on the 14 

Woke up on the 405 

Fell asleep on the 405 

Woke up on the 105 

Fell asleep on the 105 

Woke up in bed 

Call that, uh, autopilot 

But don't try that at home; I got skills 

I am to liquor, what the Crocodile Hunter is to alligators 

"These crocs, they're not your ordinary crocs 

"You gotta grab them in the mandible" 

We can't find no hotels man (you know what I'm sayin) 

So we might have to drive 

All day, and all night 

I got some music 

So it's alright 

[Repeat 4x] 

All day, and all night 

I got some music 

It's alright 

Make you feel good 

Rollin through the hood 

With your windows down 

Checkin out your sounds 

Just lend me a light 

No stress and strive, baby