Assumption Song Lyrics - Arrogant Worms

There was an old farmer who lived on a rock 

He sat in the meadow just shaking his 

Fist at some boys who were down by the crick 

Their feet in the water, their hands on their 

Marbles and play things and at half past four 

There came a young lady, she looked like a 

Pretty young creature, she sat on the grass 

She pulled up her dress and she showed them her 

Ruffles and laces and a white fluffy duck 

She said she was learning a new way to 

Bring up her children so they would not spit 

While the boys in the barnyard were shoveling 

Refuse and litter from yesterday's hunt 

While the girl in the meadow was rubbing her 

Eyes at the fellow down by the dock 

He looked like a man with a sizable 

Home in the country, with a big fence out front 

If he asked her politely she'd show him her 

Little pet dog who was subject to fits 

And maybe she'd let him grab hold of her 

Small tender hands with a movement so quick 

And then she'd bend over and suck on his 

Candy so tasty, made of butterscotch 

And then he'd spread whipped cream all over her 

Cookies that she had left out on her shelf 

If you think this is dirty you can go fuck yourself