Gingrich The Newt Lyrics - Singles - Austin Lounge Lizards

(Hank Card) 

We'd like to set the record straight by singing of the newt 

For newts are open-minded; they are flexible and cute 

A newt can breathe in water and a newt can breathe on land 

And if you are a different critter newts will understand 

Newts are not mean-spirited; they never are unfair 

Newts are not underhanded and are not afraid to share 

Newts do not have bad haircuts because newts are lacking hair 

But the newt called Gingrich drives all true newts to despair 

Gingrich the Newt's a disgrace to the name 

When true newts see him they feel so ashamed 

He's the black sheep of the newt family 

The one rotten fruit on the newt family tree 

Newts don't prey on other newts; in that they don't believe 

And you will never catch a newt with something up his sleeve 

They're tolerant to different environments and so 

They don't sen little newties to the orphanage to grow 

What kind of newt wears a suit and a tie 

And frightens small children as he rushes by? 

But we admit that his suit suits him good 

Much more discreet than a sheet and a hood 

A newt may be cold-blooded but he won't go to extremes 

And you can trust a newt to be exactly what he seems 

Newts are sorry if you're sad; they're happy if you're gay 

But Gingrich is perverse, and worse 

He's proud to be that way 

Gingrich the Newt is puffed up like a toad 

So full of himself that he's bound to explode 

And then we'll raise up our tails in salute 

A fitting tribute 

To that horse's patoot 

Gingrich the Newt