If A Girl Isn't Pretty Lyrics - Funny Girl - Barbra Streisand

If a girl isn't pretty 

Like a Miss Atlantic City 

All she gets in life is pity 

And a pat 

Kindly name a star who hasn't 

Won a contest or a pageant 

If she hasn't she just never 

Gets to bat 

She must shine in every detail 

Like a ring, you're buying retail 

Be a standard size that 

Fits a standard dress 

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When a girl's incidentals 

Are no bigger than two lentils 

Then to me it doesn't spell 

Success 

Frumpy faces that could cause ya 

To have temporary nausea 

Do I have to hear a lecture 

Such as that? 

Is a nose with deviation 

Such a crime against the nation? 

Should I throw her into jail 

Or drown the cat? 

So she looks a bit off balance 

She possesses golden talents 

Or is that a pill too bitter 

To digest? 

Oh, she's got very nice deportment, hmm 

But when they see that at Ortmund's 

From the gallery they'll be 

Throwing fruit