The West County Lyrics - Ufo Tofu - Bela Fleck & The Flecktones

Unknown 

Miscellaneous 

Railroad Bill And The Kitten 

Railroad Bill and the Kitten 

SOURCE: Bob Pfeffer 

SOURCE'S SOURCE: Andy Breckman 

TEXT: 

Railroad Bill was a hard livin' man 

He used to take his women two at a time 

Everyone agreed he was the baddest engineer 

That'd ever driven down the Santa Fe line 

His name was known from the folks back home 

To the tippy-top of telegraph hill 

And all the little boys, when they were sneakin' cigarettes 

They used to dream about the Railroad Bill 

[SPOKEN: Stay with me here 

One day Bill was walkin' along 

And he saw a kitten stuck in a tree 

When he saw what was the matter he ran to get a ladder 

To set that kitty-cat free 

And Bill said, "No, ain't gonna do it 

Ain't gonna climb up no tree 

This is a stupid, stupid song and no folksinger's 

Gonna make a fool outa me." 

I said, one day Bill was walkin' along 

And he saw a kitten stuck in a tree 

When he saw what was the matter he ran to get a ladder 

To set that kitty-cat free 

And Bill said, "No, ain't gonna do it 

Ain't gonna do what you said 

This is an asinine song. As far as I'm concerned 

That cat can stay there till it's dead." 

I said, wait a minute, Bill, you can't argue with me 

For God's sake, I just made you up 

I got the pen in my hand, I want you up in that tree 

I want that cat unstuck 

Bill said, "No, I hate cats 

Ain't gonna climb for no cat." 

He said, "Why don't you have me save some beautiful girl 

Whos's been tied down on the railroad track?" 

I said maybe there'll be room in the eighth or ninth verse 

But right now I want you up in that tree 

I'm the writer, God damn, I got the pen in my hand 

And you're supposed to listen to me 

He said, "You asshole. Why should I listen to you 

You should be listenin' to me instead." 

He said, "I'm a railroad man and if I was real 

I would separate your face from your head." 

You ungrateful brute, I cried, you push me too far 

I gotta show you I can do as I please 

So an earthquake came and it shook the whole terrain 

And it brought Railroad Bill to his knees 

And then a tidal wave broke and everything got soaked 

And Bill was almost completely washed away 

And then a big green monster from the planet Neptune 

Landed and bit Railroad Bill on the leg 

I got the pen in my hand. I can do what I want 

I'm a bright new young talent on the rise 

So get your ass up that tree or I swear you ain't 

Gonna get outa my folksong alive 

He said, "You don't scare me. 

You might be crazy but you don't scare me 

And if you don't leave me alone I'm gonna tell everybody 

Where you stole this melody." 

But before he could speak his tongue fell out 

And he could not make a sound 

Suddenly he jumped on top of me and he grabbed me by the neck 

And he pulled me to the ground 

And he hit me in the stomach, and he hit me in the face real hard 

And I think he almost broke my nose 

But just then a lightning bolt came outa nowhere, hit him right between the 

[eyes 

And killed him instantly 

[Heh, heh 

Well the cat came down from the tree 

Had a bowl of warm milk, went to sleep for the night 

Railroad Bill is survived by a wife and three small children 

Dear God, I love to write 

@outlaw @animal 

filename[ RRBILLKT 

RPf 

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