Dirtiest Song In The World Lyrics - Singles - Bird & Mcdonald

There was an old farmer who lived by a rock, 

He sat in the meadow a-shaking his fist, 

At some boys who were down by the crick (creek), 

Their feet in the water, their hands on their marbles 

And playthings, and in days of yore 

There came a young lady she looked like a 

Pretty young creature. She sat on the grass 

She pulled up her dresses and showed us her 

Ruffles and laces and white fluffy duck. 

She said she was learning a new way to 

Bring up her children and learn them to knit 

While the boys in the barnyard where shovelling 

Refuse and litter from yesterdays hunt, 

While the girl in the meadow was rubbing her 

Eyes at the fellows as girls somtimes do, 

To make it quite clear that she wanted to 

Go for a nice pleasent stroll on the grass, 

Then hurry back home for a nice peice of 

Icecream and cake that stood three layers tall, 

And after dessert she was ready to 

Go for another walk down by the dock, 

With any young man with a sizeable 

Roll of one hundreds and a big bulge up front, 

If he asked politely she would show him her 

Little pet dog who was subject to fits, 

And maybe she'd let him grab hold of her 

Small tenders hands with movement so quick, 

Then she'd lean on over and suck on his 

Soda so sweetly till she finished it, 

Then pull down her panties to rub on her 

Hip, which she brused when she ran down the halls, 

'Cause he tried to force her to suck on his 

Candy so tasty made of butterscotch, 

And then he spread whipped cream 

All over her cookies she had been backing all night... 

If you think this is dirty you're f***ing well right.