Napoleon Lyrics - Blossom Dearie

Napoleon's a pastry 

Bismarck is a herring 

Alexander's a crème de cocoa mixed with rum 

And Herbie Hoover is a vacu-um. 

Columbus is a Circle, and a day off 

Pershing is a Square, what a payoff 

Julius Caesar is just a salad on a shelf 

So, little brother, get wise to yourself. 

Life's a bowl of cherry pits, that's the way it is 

Play it big and it throws you for a loop 

Comes today we're great, 

Comes tomorrow we're tomato soup. 

Napoleon's a pastry 

Get this under your brow: 

What once used to be a rooster 

Is just a duster now. 

DuBarry is a lipstick 

Pompadour's a hairdo 

Good Queen Mary just floats along from pier to pier; 

Venus de Milo's just a pink brassiere. 

Sir Gladstone is a bag - ain't it shocking, 

And the mighty Kaiser's just a stocking, 

Czar of Russia is now caviar, 

And Cleopatra is a black cigar. 

Yes my honey lamb, Swift is just a ham, 

Lincoln's a tunnel, Coolidge is a dam; 

Yes my noble lad, comes today we're fads, 

Comes tomorrow we're subway ads. 

Homer is a swa-at 

Get this under your brow: 

All these big-wheel controversials are just commercials now. 

Better get your jug of wine and loaf of bread before that final bow.