Look Out, There's A Monster Coming Lyrics - Gorilla - Bonzo Dog Band

Lonely, unmarried, looking for love, 

Life was passing me by. 

So I sent off my photo, hobbies and age; 

Magazine marriage I tried. 

They say for centuries lovely Japanese girls 

Have been trained in the art of pleasing men. 

Be lonely no more, open destiny's door. 

For one dollar they arrange a meeting. 

My image was wrong, I didn't like me, 

So I changed my personality. 

I bought a delux Merseybeat wig 

But it was a size too big. 

What confidence in my new built-up shoes, 

So smart for winter or summer. 

Undetectable in normal everyday use. 

Look out there's a monster coming! 

Bye-bye binoculars and macintosh, 

Everything is just great. 

I take elocution, learn to speak posh 

But still I can't find a mate. 

Be popular, learn to play the guitar, 

In seven days you could be strumming. 

Be sociable, learn kissing technique. 

Look out there's a monster coming! 

Carnaby clothes, I reshaped my nose, 

Plastic surgery's best. 

To cut down my weight off comes my left leg. 

I pass a swimming costume test. 

Are my sideboards too long, 

Don't my aftershave pong? 

I know my new nose ain't runnin'. 

What's wrong with my tie? 

Am I getting too high? 

Look out there's a monster coming! 

Disfiguring and ugly, my facial hair 

I had removed electrically. 

I rejuvenated my energy cells 

And regained my virility (grunt grunt). 

(He put my hand on my heart?), 

(I am changing the part?). 

He had a machine for a mummy. 

Please be gentle with me: 

I come to pieces literally. 

Look out there's a monster coming! 

Look out there's a monster coming! 

Look out there's a monster coming! 

(...fade)