Everytime Lyrics - Butterfingers

Everytime I clean my room, I make another mess 

Everytime I miss the bus, I'm late for a test 

Everytime I'm re-incarnated, it's in the lowest form 

I leave my window open every time there is a storm 

Everytime I have a hangover, I have to go to work 

Everytime I masturbate dry it tends to hurt 

Everytime I pat a dog he bites me on the hand 

Everytime I talk to aliens, they don't understand 

Everytime I skate, I get another bruise 

Everytime I get drunk, I vomit on my shoes 

Everytime I scratch, the needle jumps 

Everytime I drink milk, it comes out in lumps 

Everytime I freestyle, I just talk shit 

Everytime I catch the bus, there is nowhere to sit 

Everytime I catch a train, Im hassled for a ticket 

Everytime I bat in cricket, 1st ball takes a wicket 

Everytime I'm drunk at a party in a toga, I pull a damn hamstring to prove I do yoga 

Everytime I eat, I get a pain in my chest 

Everytime I thinks it's heartburn, it's cardiac arrest 

Everytime I make a call, call waiting interrupts 

Everytime I dump a load at someone's house, it won't flush 

Everytime it won't flush, it stains the ceramic 

If you ever see me happy it because I'm manic 

Doomed to fail 

*It's not easy being me 

Doomed to fail 

*It's not easy being me 

Everytime I give advice, it comes out wrong 

Everytime I get raided, my prints are on the bong 

Everytime I score, I get shitty leaf 

I was living with the navajo until they heard me dis the cheif. 

Cause everytime we'd smoke a joint, Id end up with the roach 

Everytime I skip sport, I get drilled by the coach 

But every time I play footy, I get tackled in the dirt 

I crack another rib and it really fuckin hurts 

Everytime I brush my teeth, I find another cavity 

Everytime I try to fly, I discover gravity 

Everytime I have a craving, I run out of food 

Everytime we spin the bottle, I'm the 1 who ends up nude 

Everytime I give a girl an orgasm, she fakes 

Everytime I jam it in, the condom breaks 

Everytime I gamble, I lose all my chips 

Everytime I eat all bran, I get the shits 

But everytime I shit, it takes about an hour 

And there's never any paper so I have to have a shower 

But everytime I shower the towel is already wet 

And it's not wet with water but wet with cum and sweat 

Everytime I pluck my pubic hairs to make myself attractive 

My dick gets sore and I fuck like a spastic 

Everytime I write a song, radio stations ban it 

Cause when you play my records in reverse they're satanic 

Worship Satan, 

Worship Satan, 

Worship Satan, 

Worship Satan, 

Worship Satan, 

Worship Satan, 

Worship Satan, 

Worship Satan, 

Everytime I make a joke, people take me serious 

Everytime I go down on a girl, she's on her period 

Everytime I drive a car, a cop will pull me over 

But I'll say I'm someone else and that I'm sober 

Every blind date turns out to be blind 

My looks are all I have and that is why I mind 

Everytime I have a dream, I'm at the school dance 

Everyone is looking at me cause I don't have any pants 

Everytime we play piggy in the middle, I'm the pig 

Everytime we play tiggy, I'm the 1 who's it 

Everytime I lick toad, I get warts on my tongue 

Everytime I see a killer bee, It's when im getting stung 

Everytime I play scrabble, I make the word "AT" 

Every wet fart, leaves a stain where I sat 

Everytime I fuck your mum, she wants it in the bum 

And everytime I'm done, it's not because I've come 

Everytime I crack onto a chick i pull my sack out 

Everytime I try to suck my dick, I put my back out 

Everytime I catch a wave, I hit a coral reef 

And everytime I order vegetarian, I get beef