Desmond Lyrics - Chumbawamba

British champion for fifty years 

Easily beats all his challengers 

Bored of always being the best 

He'd rather be like all the rest 

Miscuing shots and fluffing smashes 

Missing the table and losing matches 

Now with pressure from above 

He was forced to carry on 

"you're the best, don't you want to win? " 

To which he replied with a cheeky grin 

"i'm bored of always being the best 

I'd rather be like all the rest!" 

Desmond rebelled, now he plays for fun 

He loses a game now and then 

He enjoys it, though, playing for pleasure 

Without the competition, without the pressure 

Miscuing shots and fluffing smashes 

Missing the table and losing matches