Dear Anxiety Lyrics - Clayton Jennings

I wake up, puddle of sweat 

I have nightmares when i get back into bed 

It's like these voices just keep playing on repeat 

In the back of my head 

And i can't get them to leave me alone 

Thirty years old but still hates being alone when i'm home 

Because that's when the voices get the loudest 

Opening up like this is a moment far from my proudest 

But these demons keep pressing me 

I swear their the foulest 

But I've grown comfortable with their presence, 

My conscious is calloused 

My dreams are their playground, 

My thoughts are their palace 

I try to evict them, they return with more 

Anxiety isn't an item you can return at the store 

I was ten the first time i had a panic attack 

Like a punch to the stomach, there's no planning for that 

And i didn't tell anyone 

Related 

27 Best Ever Songs From Movie Soundtracks 

Love Stinks, So Here Are 15 Anti-Valentine's Day Songs 

Modern Love: The Best Top 40 Love Songs For Valentine's Day 

Because I was too scared about what they'd say 

And i know deep down there was nothing 

They could do to take it away 

It was my fight to fight and my battle to face 

I remember that house i grew up in 

And how those demons would rattle that place 

I'd lay awake at night just staring at the ceiling 

I've spent my whole life trying to run away from that feeling 

That feeling of being lonely 

That feeling of being lost 

That feeling of being sick when the lights turn off 

That feeling of being depressed 

That feeling of being anxious 

That feeling of screaming to God, 

Begging him to take this 

Only to get silenced in return 

I'd lay in that bed crying and I'd toss and I'd turn 

And I turn and I toss to this day 

The doctors gave me medication, the pastor said pray 

I tried both and this anxiety still hasn't gone away 

So forgive me if i fantasise about being gone today 

I'm an actor who got really good at being ON today 

But when i turn OFF i go right back into the shadows 

I'm in the deep end now but i started in the shallows 

And i might just drown myself in these waves 

Suburban hell, these homes are all graves 

Everyone's (?) with something (?) and made it 

They're all too afraid 

And these kids are glued to watching me what do I say? 

If I'm honest with them maybe they won't think highly of me 

Everything they want me to be is what I'm dying to be 

But everything i really am is what I'm not trying to be 

I want them to know that they're not alone in their struggles 

I wake up in tears and fall back asleep in those puddles 

And i don't think I'll ever get out of this valley I'm in 

Terrified that all along God has tallied my sins 

And if he has the number must be astronomic 

My life is a joke and you keep reading, 

Just pass the comic 

Because everything you think that i am is far from the truth 

I wish i could open up to you and just let loose 

But my vocal cords get tight when the devil pulls on this noose 

And them I'm back to keeping everything bottled up inside 

But he's not going to keep me from pulling 

The throttle back this time 

He's not going to keep me trapped like this 

I can't get out of bed i was never meant to act like this 

I pack it in my bags and he can't stop me 

From running fast like this 

I'm not going to be a slave to these voices of anxiety 

I'm shoving the devil back for every time that he lied to me 

And I'm taking a (?) to these demons 

Who whispered a spare in my ear 

And I've been ignoring every (?) 

Who stands and stares when I'm near 

I'm moving forward out of this slump 

I took my bruises, I took my lumps 

I fell down but i got right back up 

So give me a torch and lets light that up 

I'm setting fire to the devil and 

I'm dousing these demons in gasoline 

Look at you now, now you're not laughing at me 

Now whose the one whose being tortured and poked 

Now who's the one closing every door that I (?) 

Now who's the one watching the other burn to the ground 

Don't look away from me you better turn back around 

I'm not done talking to you now 

I'm watching your moves, I'm on your back 

And I'm stalking you too 

And when you try to ruin some other kid's life 

I'll be stopping you too 

You took thirty years of my life and I can't get that back 

You told me to end my life and i nearly got killed for that 

You took me down but i bounced right back 

I was lost and i got found like that 

And everything you told me i wasn't 

Someone new told me i was 

And everything you hated in me 

Someone new told me He loves 

And when you tried to kill me with depression and anxiety 

He reached in and placed hope deep inside of me 

So I'm done listening to you and letting you control me 

I'm announcing it now that the devil can't hold me 

I'm walking away from the old me 

And I'm demanding a refund on every lie that you sold me 

You knew I'd find a way out sooner or later 

And i found my escape in the form of a saviour 

Check Out 

Who Will Perform At The 2019 Grammy Awards? 

Songs That Will Make You Cry Uncontrollably 

Watch Cardi B Join James Corden For Carpool Karaoke 

The Best Karaoke Songs Ever, Ranked