Indian In-laws Lyrics - Cledus T. Judd

They're my Indian in-laws 

Came to visit me and my squaw 

Been here for a month y'all 

I'm 'bout to lose my mind 

I'm sick and tired of her paw-paw 

Eatin' all of my bear claws 

While he's watchin' ol' hee-haws 

And drinkin' all my wine 

I'm gonna scalp her maw-maw 

Making long distance phone calls 

To her friends in Arkansas 

Talkin' on my dime 

They're my Indian in-laws 

They're drivin' me up the dang wall 

Using all of my dental floss 

And leave the room smelling bad 

They moved into my wigwam 

God Almighty, they're big bums 

They order filet mignons 

And stick me with the tab 

They're hanging 'round my teepee 

Can't wear my Buffalo briefs 

Ain't had me no whoopee 

Since week for last 

They're my Indian in-laws 

Hooked on Ex-Lax and Geritol 

Have to run 'em to the shopping mall 

Four times a day 

Every single day 

Seven days a week 

My nerves are about shot 

They are worryin' me to death 

Sittin' there clipping toenails 

Chain-smoking them Pell Mells 

Wish they'd get them a motel 

But they're too cheap to pay 

Pretty soon if they don't leave 

I'll take a pipe and pop his knee 

Like Tanya did Nancy 

They're skating on thin ice 

I'll take my bow and arrow 

Pretend I'm shootin' at a sparrow 

I might miss and uhh oh 

Hit her maw-maw's behind 

They're my Indian in-laws 

Might be kin to Tim McGraw 

But they came to me, naw 

Might have to leave my wife 

'Cause my Indian in-laws 

Came to visit me and my squaw 

Been here for a month y'all 

I'm about to lose my mind 

Oh, one little, two little, three little Indians 

Four little, five little, six little Indians 

Seven little, eight little, nine little Indians 

Ten little Indian in-laws 

Oh no! Here comes her brother and her other brother 

And then there's her sister brought her aunt Essie with her 

And she's got two kids and they brought two friends 

The whole tribes are comin', couldn't they have just made a reservation