Aint Gonna Suck Itself Lyrics - Cracker

I say baby, it ain't gonna suck itself 

Virgin Records, it ain't gonna suck itself 

I say baby, it ain't gonna suck itself 

What 'chew waiting for? it ain't gonna suck itself 

Well I flew out from Virginie on the very first day 

I heard my record company exercise my pay to play 

Went to see Mr. Lott but his assistant said no 

"Security will escort you to the parking lot" 

It was 102 degrees I was feeling kind of hot 

So I walked across the street for one of those Mexican frozen popsicles 

Couldn't buy just one so I bought myself a box 

When I come back the assistant she's standing in the parking lot 

No hard feelings do you want one of these? 

But she looks at me like I was speaking Chinese 

The security man walks up he helps himself to one 

Coincidently Chinese and hot from standing in the sun 

Then he helps himself to another he puts it in her hand 

But she looks at it like it was a piece of crap 

Or a dead and dying bird she didn't understand 

So I was just trying to be helpful when I said... 

Baby, it ain't gonna suck itself 

Oh Virgin Records, it ain't gonna suck itself 

I beg to differ cousin, it should be, it ain't gonna lick itself 

Ok we'll try it that way It ain't gonna lick itself 

Well I'm standing in the parking lot waiting on my ride 

His name is Jackson Haring and he's still inside 

He went in through mailroom for some record company swag 

But this Virgin Records there ain't shit to be had 

And the halls they was empty because everyone was laid off 

And he took a wrong turn ends up in the tape vault 

Only one thing to do when you're standing face to face 

With the Sticky Fingers, Let It Be master tapes 

You've got to stick them in the satchel and head on the down the hall 

Saying these will go nicely with that Residents eyeball 

Many years ago while working for Bill Graham Presents 

A prop eyeball was stolen backstage from The Residents 

And the rumor went around that Jackson was the thief 

But that's neither here nor there and I was sitting in the jeep 

Looking at the Sticky Fingers master tapes 

My popsicle's dripping on the seat so I throw it out the window 

And it lands at the feet of Roy Lott 

Hey Roy, it ain't gonna suck itself 

Ah Virgin Records, it ain't gonna suck itself 

And one time for the ladies, It ain't gonna lick itself 

Ah Virgin Records, it ain't gonna suck itself 

Baby, it ain't gonna suck itself 

Everyone at Virgin Records, it ain't gonna suck itself 

One for the ladies, it ain't gonna lick itself 

What 'chew waitin' for, it ain't gonna suck itself 

Mr. Lott, it ain't gonna suck itself 

Everyone on Foothill Road, it ain't gonna suck itself 

Just so we're not totally sexist, it ain't gonna lick itself 

Virgin Records, it ain't gonna suck itself