Crispy Critters Lyrics - Singles - C.w. Mccall

One day about four or five years ago 

We is settin' at the Conoco station 

Kickin' tires, and swattin' flies 

And discussin' the state of the Union 

When right out in front of the Baptist church 

Come a big old purple school bus 

Had astrological signs upon it 

And thirty-five hippies and dogs inside 

About half of 'em went for the courthouse lawn 

And them dogs commenced on the fireplug 

Rest of 'em set there starin' at us 

And I says, "Roy, go get your flit gun" 

He says, "Which is the hippies?" 

And which is the dogs?" 

I says, "Beats the hell out of me, Roy" 

What they was, was a bunch a' them crispy critters 

And their leader was a space cadet 

He says, "Sagittarius, we has arrived 

Prepare to disembark, men 

Get the incense goin' and the sitar out 

We gonna camp in the city park, man" 

I says, "Boys, let me explain the situation to ya 

A, you're gettin' me down 

And B, we got us a leash law here 

And C, you in the wrong town" 

"You drop one string a' beads in that there park 

And you gonna see a whole lot of stars 

You got fifteen seconds to get out of town, boys 

Or we gonna blow ya to Mars" 

Well, they all got back in the purple bus 

And proceeded to the city limits 

Then the telephone rang, was the swimmin' pool 

Says a mess a' wild critters was in it 

So we all got in the Marshal's Plymouth 

Which is always at the Conoco station 

Went flashin' on down to the swimmin' pool 

To give them critters a citation 

By the time we arrived, it was too damn late 

Them critters is all had their pants down 

Them dogs was tearin' the bathhouse apart 

And they's after the fish in the fish pond 

I says, "Roy, you get the one in the silver T-shirt 

And I'll get the rest with a net" 

We gonna have a jail full of naked crispy critters 

And a drip-dry space cadet" 

Well, we gave 'em hell, but we lost the war 

'Cause them critters outnumbered us 

So they moved in and set up camp 

And they lived in that purple school bus 

Six weeks later, there was nothin' in town 

But eighty-four dogs and a head shop 

Sellin' dried up weeds, and sunflower seeds 

And astrological postcards 

Yeah, critters took over the City Council 

And the dogs all barked their brains out 

And the whole damn town was crispy critters 

And the mayor was a space cadet