Pick Up You Kid Lyrics - Drown Your Babies Elsewhere

Attention shoppers 

We have a child here in the office 

That's been separated from her mother 

Now, this isn't something the 

Simon Property Group tries to encourage, no 

We generally ask that children are supervised at all times 

Now, it would be a charitable assessment on my part to say 

That the child's been handling this ordeal in a graceful manner 

Or that we've been able to get any work done since her arrival 

Now, please take a moment to survey the number of offspring 

In your immediate sphere of influence and then I want you to 

Compare that number against your best working guess 

As to how many children you arrived with 

If you find any inconsistences between these two figures 

There's no reason to be alarmed 

Embarrassed, ashamed, mortified? Maybe 

But do know that your child is safe 

And can be readily picked up 

At any of the information desks 

Conveniently scattered throughout the facility 

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Pick up your fucking kid 

The kid is funny looking, I'd say, with an unusual posture 

Three or four years of age and 

Somewhere in the neighborhood of three feet tall 

Wearing a look of unmitigated hopelessness 

And a t-shirt whose obnoxious slogan 

I won't read over the PA 

Now, the He-Man haircut tells me 

It's best to stick with pronouns of a neutral variety 

At least until I have some better intel on my hands 

But forced to guess well I'd say she's a girl 

Ok, she's nodding so she knows that at least 

She was last seen in the vicinity of a mother 

With garbage taste in children's clothing 

And a misplaced trust her ability to cut hair 

Or supervise children 

Mother likely going to or coming from 

A drug overdose of some kind 

If there's any associates free on the floor 

It might be helpful to sweep the bathrooms 

Because at this point we could be looking for a corpse 

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It occurs to me that I've been operating from the assumption 

That this child was lost accidently 

And that no mother their right mind 

Would intentionally abandon a kid 

In a public venue 

To the detriment of all staff involved 

This assumption seemed reasonable 

In the wee hours of this saga 

But as time drags on 

I'm prepared to admit my doubts 

You know, look, I don't want your kid either 

And I should have been out of here 

Ten fucking minutes ago 

So tell me what you want me to do 

What am I supposed to do? 

Bring her to the 24 hour one, huh? 

You think they want to inherit this problem? 

You know what? 

Anybody listening right now who wants a kid 

Ah, can come pick her up. 

She's got blue eyes, two kidneys, 

You can grow the hair out 

She says she's not married to it 

She just got some gum stuck in it.