How To Be Dumb Lyrics - Elvis Costello

I was hell-bent on destroying my powers of concentration 

While you were living like a saint 

And all the time the very one you trusted was 

Washing off somebody else's paint 

Now you've got yourself a brand new occupation 

Every fleeting thought is a pearl 

And beautiful people stampede to the doorway of the 

Funniest fucker in the world 

They're here to help you 

Satisfy your desires 

There's a bright future 

For all you professional liars 

Now you know how to be dumb? 

Are you ready to take your place 

In the modern museum of mistakes? 

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Don't you know how to be dumb? 

Like a building thrown up overnight 

In one of those reverse earthquakes 

They emptied out all of the asylums 

They emptied out all the jails 

The 'New Bruise' was the name of a dance craze 

By Jesus Cross and the Cruel Nails 

Followed up by 'Torturing Little Beaver' 

With their contraption of 'Barb wire' 

Between the fear and the fever lies 

All the rejection they require 

They'll be howling by midnight 

They'll be drooling by dawn 

Skulls shrunk down to the size of their brains 

Heads shaven and shorn 

Don't you know how to be dumb? 

Are you ready to take your place 

In the modern museum of mistakes? 

Photos 

Don't you know how to be dumb? 

Like a building thrown up overnight 

In one of those reversed earthquakes 

Trapped in the House of the Perpetual Succour where 

Bitterness always ends so pitifully 

You always had to dress up your envy in some 

Half remembered philosophy 

Now you're masquerading as pale powdered genius whose 

Every bad intention has been purged 

You could've walked out any time you wanted but 

Face it you didn't have the courage 

I guess that makes you a full time hypocrite 

Or some kind of twisted dilettante 

Funny though people don't usually get so ugly till they 

Think they know what they want 

Scratch your own head stupid 

Count up to three 

Roll over on your back 

Repeat after me 

Don't you know how to be dumb? 

Are you ready to take your place 

In the modern museum of mistakes? 

Don't you know how to be dumb? 

Like a building thrown up overnight 

In one of those reverse earthquakes 

Ohh don't you know how to be dumb? 

Don't you know how to be dumb? 

Don't you know how to be dumb? 

Yes you know how to be dumb? 

Dumb, dumb, dumb, d-d-d-dumb 

Fine, fine