Billy Mays Vs Ben Franklin Lyrics - Epic Rap Battles Of History

I'm big Ben Franklin and this shan't be pretty 

Let me instruct you how we battle in the city of Philly 

You couldn't sell Rick James a bag of crack, you're out of practice 

My victory more certain than death or taxes 

Fact is you're a hack, wack QVC joke 

You peddle soap that cleans bird shit from my windows 

I'll craft a lyrical coffin and then spit the nails in 

Call me Arthur Miller son, cause it's death of a salesman 

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(Billy Mays) 

Hi Billy Mays here with a special TV offer 

Watch me crush this bald fat foppish founding father 

I'll take my awesome auger and sow your quaker oats 

I'll shoot your rhymes down like a regiment of red coats 

I'm lord of the pitch and leader in home sales 

You're just a lumpy pumpkin who invented the mail 

Benny's got kite'n key but you're in for a shock 

When I strike you with bolts from my lightning rod cock 

(Benjamin Franklin) 

Stop I protest these intolerable raps 

It takes just one easy payment for me to whoop your ass 

Cause I'm mint I'm money I'm an educated gentleman 

So join or die Bill cause it's all about the Benjamin 

(Billy Mays) 

But wait there's more! 

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Songs You Love If You Love Nerds 

(Vince Offer, the Shamwow Guy) 

You following me camera guy? Cause it's about to get furious 

You're gonna love my nuts until you're bi-focal-curious 

Your boy George chopped down trees you couldn't break a piece of balsa 

Slap chop your face make a double chin salsa 

Your style's so broke they call you Poor Richard 

It's bad enough I got to see you every time I tip a stripper 

Vince against a founding father is just too bad 

Cause after this America is gonna lose a Dad