Plastic Paddy Lyrics - Singles - Eric Bogle

"Plastic Paddy" 

-Eric Bogle 

Hup! dee diddle-ee diddle-ee diddle-ee diddle-ee diddle-ee diddle-ee dah 

Hup! dee diddle-ee diddle-ee diddle-ee diddle-ee diddle-ee diddle-ee dah 

Hup! dee diddle-ee diddle-ee diddle-ee diddle-ee diddle-ee diddle-ee dah 

Hup! dee diddle-ee diddle-ee diddle-ee diddle-ee diddle-ee diddle-ee dah 

Hup! dee diddle-ee diddle-ee diddle-ee diddle-ee diddle-ee diddle-ee dah 

He's just a Plastic Paddy, singin' Plastic Paddy songs 

in a Plastic Paddy pub that they call The Blarny Stone 

There's plastic shamrocks everywhere, there's Guinness and green beer 

And a sign in gaelic above the bar which says "God Bless All Here" 

His guitar sounds like a wardrobe, and it's out of tune at that 

His singin' voice it ranges from a sharp to a flat 

He's just desecrated "The Holy Ground", ripped apart "Black Velvet Band" 

Sang some nights drunk and now he's sunk "The Irish Rover" with all hands 

'Cause he's just a Plastic Paddy, singin' Plastic Paddy songs 

in a Plastic Paddy pub that they call The Blarny Stone 

The publican's a proddy Scot by the name of McIntyre 

Who does not allow collections for the men behind the wire 

He's done awful things to "Molly Malone" and "The Farrows of Tralee" 

He's murdered "Carach Fergus" and poor old "Mother Machree" 

He's just thrashed his way through "Galway Bay" and "The Wild Irish Rose" 

and if he starts singing "Danny Boy", I'm gonna punch him in the nose! 

He's just a Plastic Paddy, singin' Plastic Paddy songs 

in a Plastic Paddy pub that they call The Blarny Stone 

There's Aer Lingus posters everywhere showing pretty Irish scenes 

all peaceful and idyllic, and very bloody green! 

"When Irish Eyes are Smiling" and "The Mountains of Mourne" 

In a central Celtic chich, the man has left no stone unturned 

'Til he embarks upon the harp that once through terraced halls 

Accompanying himself on the Bodhrn, which takes a lot of courage 

'Cause he's just a Plastic Paddy, singin' Plastic Paddy songs 

in a Plastic Paddy pub that they call The Blarny Stone 

Now he's just sung in his mother tongue, "The Ancient Irish Curse" 

and cleared the pub completely by the forty-second verse! 

'Cause he's just a Plastic Paddy, singin' Plastic Paddy songs 

He's started singin' "Danny Boy", so it's time that I was gone 

and just one thought comes to my mind, as I stagger through the door 

Where are you when we need you, Christy Moore? 

Where are you when we need you, Christy Moore? 

************* 

Note: Christy Moore is a popular folk singer in the UK and Europe, but probably not well known in the US.