Aisle B Lyrics - Eric Schwartz

My girlfriend got sick 

And she needed a few things 

But she couldnt get out of her bed 

So she wrote me a list 

She sent me to the drugstore 

I went up to the sales girl and said 

"Tell me...where are the tampons and 

Tell me, how to heal canker sores 

Sell me what you take with a cramp on 

'cause if she dont stop whining 

She wont need no tampons no more... 

She said 

Aisle b 

Thats where youll find them 

Aisle b 

Near the feminine sprays 

Aisle b 

Where they'd carefully aligned them 

To make damn well sure 

I'd be shopping for tampons for days... 

So I picked up a basket, and went down and found her 

Anything she could squirt or insert or inject 

And when I was done 

I brought them up to the counter 

Where each item I bought was price-checked 

Hair pluckers, zit suckers, unstuckers for stomach unease 

Inner incense for a scent like a warm country breeze... 

I later discovered the whole thing was a setup 

They taped me from beginning to end 

I shoulda known better, 

This chick hasn't let up since she found out I did her best friend 

I packed up my things 

With my ego eroded 

I went back to live with my mom 

If you dont believe me 

The mpegs uploaded at "Guys Buying Tampons dot com" 

Aisle b the dreams aren't stopping 

Aisle b, never again 

Aisle b, girls, do your own shopping 

Unless you are trying to make a mess of your men....