If I Lyrics - Survival Story - Flobots

If I hadn't been a quiet introspective kid 

If I hadn't been a nerd, wouldn't have met with him 

If we hadn't observed we'd be the best of friends 

That preferred the spoken word to the toke and binge 

If momma hadn't died when I was young 

Would me and sis been so tight from jump? 

If dad hadn't lost his mind to a disease 

Would I be up here askin' ya'll to notice me? 

In the dark times, didn't know where the path went 

I was close to the edge like Grand Master Flash said 

It was hands of my friends that held me back 

Yes, without them I'd MJ keep slidin' backwards 

Or be a hypocrite like some others have been 

If that and the other hadn't happened 

Don't know that I'd ever been Brer Rabbit 

Askin' how many if's between hero and has-been? 

If I, if I, if I had only known 

That I would be a lamb to the slaughter 

Now I know 

If I, if I, if I had only known 

I know, I bet it only makes me stronger 

Now I know, now I know 

Now I know, know, know 

Now I know, now I know 

Now I know, know, know 

If I hadn't grown up in the 80's 

Experiencing the various things that made me 

Would I still be standing center stage 

Trying to innovate new ways to demonstrate? 

If mommy-daddy hadn't turned off Mork and Mindy 

To inform us divorce was pending 

Would him and me have spent these 23 years in a frenzy 

Moving back and forth with such forceful energy? 

I remember when I was a little baby 

Lying there alone on my pillow casing 

Upset already I could feel the aging 

The urge to return was debilitating 

And maybe I'm still afraid and need to 

Cry a little harder for the world of play things 

Stop looking back on these silly day dreams 

Sing along with me if you feel the same way 

If I, if I, if I had only known 

That I would be a lamb to the slaughter 

Now I know 

If I, if I, if I had only known 

I know, I bet it only makes me stronger 

Now I know, now I know 

Now I know, know, know 

Now I know, now I know 

Now I know, know, know 

If I had known what awaited was unplanned 

If I had known the blade was in a loved one's hand 

If I had known of the possible injury 

If I had known the altar was meant for me 

But now I know nobody can predict events 

And now I know there's cracks in the picket fence 

Now I know that something else exists 

And now I know a life can be built from this 

If I had known emotions would still remain 

If I had known that time wouldn't heal the pain 

If I had known the intent of the injury 

If I had known the altar wasn't meant for me 

Now I know there's treasure hidden in these scars 

Now I know there's presence in an empty yard 

Now I know what it took for me to survive 

But now I know where to go to become alive 

If I, if I, if I had only known 

That I would be a lamb to the slaughter 

Now I know 

If I, if I, if I had only known 

I know, I bet it only makes me stronger 

Now I know, now I know 

Now I know, know, know 

Now I know, now I know 

Now I know, know, know