The Problem Lyrics - Godley And Creme

If a man, A, who weighs 11 stone 

leaves from his home at 8:30 in the morning 

in a car whose consumption is 16.25 mpg 

at an average speed of 40 m.p.h. 

to his office which is 12 miles away 

and he stops for a coffee on the way for 15 minutes 

and also puts air in one of his tyres 

which has a slow puncture 

letting out air at a rate of 2 lbs per square inch 

per mile travelled 

when the car is moving at 32 m.p.h. 

and he picks up a hitch-hiker B 

who weighs 14 stone plus suitcase 

But hitch-hiker B who is a political activist 

distributes leaflets from his suitcase 

each of which weigh an ounce 

at the scale of 2 leaflets per person 

at every bus stop 

and every vehicle on either side of them 

at every red traffic light during the journey 

which includes 20 bus stops 

with an average of 6 people per stop 

5 lorries each with a passenger 

one of which exchanged a Yorkie Bar 

weighing an ounce for 12 of the leaflets 

and 2 coaches each containing 51 people 

7 of which from one coach returned the leaflets 

and 16 people from the other coach 

who asked for a further leaflet 

each for a member of one of their families 

Assuming that man A 

then had to travel a further 2.86 miles 

out of his way to drop off hitch-hiker B 

how late would man A be 

in arriving at the office by 9:30 a.m.? 

If he still had 6 miles to travel 

and his watch was running 23 minutes slow 

but the clock at the office was running 

2 minutes faster than his 

was in fact 17 minutes and 3 secs ahead 

of the correct time 

which was 2:30 in the morning in Caracas 

If when 5 miles from the office 

he telephoned his boss 

to apologize for being late 

but was told by his boss C 

to pick up a package 2.63 miles away 

from his present location 

and deliver it to client D in Bristol by train, 

by 4:30 that afternoon 

and at the same time man D 

was mistakenly told to come to London 

to receive same package from man A 

Now man A's train, train 1, 

left 30 mins. late 

but man D's train, train 2, 

left 5 mins early 

so when the trains passed each other 

train 1 was travelling at 75 m.p.h. 

to make up for lost time 

and train 2 was travelling at 52 m.p.h. 

Would man A reach Bristol earlier or later 

according to his watch 

which was now running 5 mins. slower 

than man D's would have been 

had he not got off the train 

and checked the correct time 

at a station between Bristol and London 

and stopped to phone A's boss, man C 

to double check A would be there to meet him 

and discover his mistake 

catch next train, train 3, back to Bristol 

which unlike A's train 1 

which stopped at 4 stations on the way 

for 6 mins each stop 

was an express train 

D's train caught up with A's train 1 

4 miles from Bristol 

As the trains drew alongside each other 

A's train was travelling at 12 m.p.h. 

and D's train was travelling at 13.6 m.p.h. 

and man A was sat in the front 

How long would it take to fill the bath?