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Horrible Histories

Evil Roman Emperors (bad) Lyrics - Horrible Histories

Lead 1: 

The famous Roman Empire, 

 

Lead 2: 

Was the biggest, meanest neighbourhood. 

Lead 3: 

We four were the baddest emperors, 

 

Lead 4: 

And by Bad we don't mean Good! 

 

Lead 1: 

My name is Caligula 

A rotten, Roman pig-ula 

If you told me a fib-ula 

I'd hack your hands to stumps! 

One time, I killed a priest 

Who'd come to sacrifice a beast 

You'd think it's sad that he's deceased 

We all laughed like chumps! 

 

I'm very hairy, but take note 

If you so much as whisper "Goat!" 

With an iron rod you will be smote 

In a good mood today, so I won't slit your throat! 

 

I'm bad! 

 

Lead 2-4: 

He's bad! 

 

Lead 1: 

A shameless rotten cad! 

Do you still have limbs since meeting me? 

Then I guess you should be glad! 

 

Lead 2: 

Your nastiness was fabulous 

But my name's Elagabalus 

And I was far, far worse 

Just listen to my verse 

I was quite notorious 

For catapaulting venomous 

Snakes at Rome's enormous 

Crowds, oh, how they fled 

If you won a lottery prize 

I'd give you bees, dead dogs and flies 

My house guests got a nice surprise 

A lion in their bed! 

 

You'd think to children, I'd be cuter 

No, I was their biggest executor 

Used their guts to read the future 

Says here I should get a job as a school tutor! 

 

I'm bad! 

 

Lead 1,3,4: 

He's bad! 

 

Lead 2: 

Could argue I was sad! 

Hated through our empire 

From Great Britain to Baghdad! 

 

Lead 3: 

Afraid your claim is bogus 

'Cause my name is Commodus 

And no one else could be 

A worse emperor than me 

There never was a greater 

Pretend gladiator 

If the booing got too loud 

Made the lions fight the crowd 

Just one man was grander 

Julius Alexander 

So I killed him, see 

'Cause I'm the emperor, me 

 

I'm bad! 

 

Lead 1,2,4: 

He's bad! 

 

lead 3: 

My actions truly rad! 

You only got the emperor job 

'Cause you were chosen by your dad! 

 

Lead 4: 

To me, you all score zero 

My name is Emperor Nero 

Evil men you're not 

I'm the worstest of the lot! 

My rule was full of fear-o 

Yes, men from far and near-o 

Called me a fighting hero 

Or I would have them slayed! 

Changed the Olympic season 

So the medals went to me, son 

Burned Christians for no reason 

Just a fun game I played, you know 

 

Poisoned my stepbrother 

Ordered men to kill my mother 

Tried to drown her but she fled 

So I had her stabbed instead 

Wait! There's more! 

With my first wife, dear Octavia 

I showed truly bad behaviour 

Chopped her head off, gave it to 

My girlfriend who I then killed too 

 

I'm bad! So baddy! 

Of badness, I'm the daddy! 

Come on, I want to see 

A more evil bloke than me! 

 

Lead 1,2,3: 

You're bad! Real bad! 

Nothing more to add! 

We all thought that we were awful 

But you were really, truly mad! 

 

Lead 4: 

I'm the baddest emperor the Romans ever had. 

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Artist: Plaitum