Only Human Lyrics - All Love Lost - Joe Budden

Mic check, mic check 

One two, one two 

New Joe Budden! 

Uhh 

Please somebody help my soul 

Please somebody help my soul 

Please somebody help my soul 

Please somebody help my soul 

Talk to 'em (Talk to 'em) 

I let the Man have a talk with the beast in me 

I'm holding onto my last bit of decency 

I need a vacay, a change of scenery 

But mama said wherever I'mma go, I'm taking me with me 

I told her shit is on my mind and it's been eating me 

She got me pissing in a cup, she don't believe in me 

It's not the drugs that got me out of my zone 

Going days without eating, in a crowd I feel alone, mama 

Then she ask why it seems I never sleep at night 

I told her when I close my eyes my brain just keeps the fight 

She said my friends wanna have an intervention with me 

I speak to niggas daily, that was never mentioned to me 

She told me there's a higher power and a lower power 

And that I'll die if I don't find the strength to overpower 

Then I replied, "well aren't we all"? 

She said "yeah, but that should be on God's terms, not yours" 

My every thought is scary 

And it makes it hard to breathe again 

Like I'm blinded while I'm staring in the mirror 

Asking God to help me see again, please help me 

But He tells me I'm only human 

And that I'll be back on my feet again, please help me 

But they act like I'm more than human 

I prove them wrong again 

Don't fault me I'm only human 

Tryin' to weather the storm 

I thought that black cloud was gone 

It's been beside me all along, not the song 

I wanna sit in silence, don't speak for a minute 

Tired of being strong, please let me be weak for a minute 

Kinda thought that my disease tried to kill your man first 

It was easy to get my hands on 30 milligram Percs, worse 

Can't be depression, couldn't have it this long 

So many secrets I only told through a glass of Patron, my nigga 

Speaking of secrets, that's when I got the Kaylintext 

Read it and cried, couldn't believe what she was saying next 

She said "you're going through a lot 

I'm hoping you ain't in the grave and dead 

'Cause not too many people know your brain's a mess" 

Who knew that she was keeping track of it all? 

I wrote back "lol" but wasn't laughing at all 

I ain't tell her just the other day that that gun was in my lap 

Pen and pad in my hand, and I was writing a note 

Didn't get far, as soon as I wrote down "mom" I just stopped 

Couldn't lie to her, couldn't figure out how to say bye to her 

Couldn't explain the "why" to her 

Couldn't picture her getting a call or somebody saying her son had died to her 

And shortly after that my pastor called 

Which at first I kinda thought it was weird 

But that convo preserved me, 'bout God's grace and mercy 

He ain't even say goodbye, he said "let us pray" 

And then he went into a prayer, gripped the phone, closed my eyes 

Just so happy he appeared nigga shed another tear 

Maybe he could sense that something had the god devoured 

Just thankful he shed some light upon my darkest hour 

All my thoughts are corrupt, this shit is whack 

If everybody calls you a duck, will you just quack? 

Guess a part of me really gives a fuck, way in the back 

'Cause when I had that burner ready to bust, I didn't clap 

Joe 

My every thought is scary 

And it makes it hard to breathe again 

Like I'm blinded while I'm staring in the mirror 

Asking God to help me see again, please help me 

But He tells me I'm only human 

And that I'll be back on my feet again, please help me 

But they act like I'm more than human 

I prove them wrong again 

Don't fault me I'm only human 

Guess I'm insanity's definition 

Trying to step over in sanity's repetition 

But I can't it got me tripping 

Whatever love we had was dead that night 

Looking back, we both needed cooler heads that night 

Was going off no sleep, eyes red that night 

While you was drunk texting me, I hope I read that right 

You was beefing bout Giselle, beefing bout Alexa 

Suddenly you was jealous, must've thought that I had sexed her 

I was laughing, thought it was funny 

Giselle's the homie, Alexa's twenty 

With hip withdrawals 

Nothing bout your story shoulda been sticking at all 

I wouldn't dick her at all 

I'm guessing, maybe you were insecure and never knew me 

Was there for four months, yet you said this was a new me 

In your head, guess the answer to this jealousy 

Was to turn around and try to make me jealous, B 

But the part that you neglect 

Was never mind jealousy, this was 'bout respect 

Y'all Instagramming pictures, trying to get me upset 

You turned that into a night we both would never forget 

We both said some things we both probably regret 

You was lying to my face and them dots didn't connect, but cool 

Only picked you up to try and talk sense into you 

Now I'm fucking homeboy up, just off the principle 

I guess he caught him self antagonizing me 

But he's a young nigga, that's no surprising me 

Shit I done fucked some of the baddest hoes 

I left shorty weeks ago, you can have this ho 

I guess the part where I lose 

Is now they got my face plastered all over the news, I'm being falsely accused 

And I don't understand, was this all part of a plan? 

I guess I'll tell the whole truth when on the stand 

How you go and tell the cops I had guns in my house? 

Now they got a search warrant, just to come to my house 

Question, were your feelings worth taking my tomorrow's, kid? 

And you know Jersey gun laws, I'm talking hollow tips 

So you can tell them niggas you roll with whatever you want 

But you and I know what's going on 

Nigga that whole night just replays in my mind 

Your face is fine, this is a big waste of time 

Let's get back to that jealousy 

Now you got a nigga facing three felonies 

All for what, cause we were no longer dealing 

You attack me, but I'm the villain, over a fucking iPhone and feelings 

Check, you never see me act like a jerk 

I know women will provoke you and get mad when it works 

Rather reserved and that always makes matters the worst 

'Cause I go on about my business and not act like it hurts, but wait 

So now the whole world is watching me get burned here 

Which is fine, there's a lesson to be learned here 

Which is only fuck with strippers and the bartenders 

Anytime there's a pole in the bar centered 

So even though it's from afar now 

I still wish you the best, I know your heart's tender 

I'm sorry all, I just got my own scars to tend to 

Signing off, truly yours, with love, God's sinner 

My every thought is scary 

And it makes it hard to breathe again 

Like I'm blinded while I'm staring in the mirror 

Asking God to help me see again, please help me 

But He tells me I'm only human 

And that I'll be back on my feet again, please help me 

But they act like I'm more than human 

I prove them wrong again 

Don't fault me I'm only human 

My every thought is scary 

And it makes it hard to breathe again 

Like I'm blinded while I'm staring in the mirror 

Asking God to help me see again, please help me 

But He tells me I'm only human 

And that I'll be back on my feet again, please help me 

But they act like I'm more than human 

I prove them wrong again 

Don't fault me I'm only human