Middleman Lyrics - John Prine

I was sitting in a diner 

With a girl named Flo 

She wouldn't say yes 

But she couldn't say no 

She said "Darling, Can I get a middle man?" 

She was engaged to a fellow 

On the lay a way plan 

But she carried all her money 

In a coffee can 

She said "Darling, Can I get a middle man?" 

The cook looked over 

With a short order face 

Dropped a fork 

And he saw Flo's legs 

Straightened his apron 

And burnt my eggs 

I got competition 

Everywhere I go 

These days 

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She was leaning on the juke box 

And was lookin' real good 

Like Natalie Wood 

On a Pontiac hood 

I said "Darling, I think I need a little hand" 

Ya see, I've seen my downs 

I've seen my ups 

I seen miniature dogs 

In coffee cups 

But "Darling I ain't never seen a middle man" 

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Flo talked slow 

Like real wet paint 

She said 

"A middle man's there 

When the other ones ain't 

He's got a left handed manner 

That leans to the right 

Sleeps all day 

And keeps it up all night ..." 

... I got an aunt in Ohio 

And a boat that won't row 

Some veterans insurance 

And nowhere to go 

"Darling, Can I be your middle man?" 

(spoken) 

If I could get the money in that coffee can 

I could open me up a lemonade stand 

Send all the kids off to Pakistan 

Make Flo happy 

If I can 

Jerry Mahoney and Johnny B. Goode 

Are gonna buy me a house in Hollywood 

"Darling I think I got the perfect plan" 

"We're gonna save half a dollars 

And sell 'em to France 

Buy us a record 

And learn how to dance 

And Darling I'll always be your middle 

Darling Go buy a griddle 

Darling I wanna be your middle man