An Audience With You Lyrics - Singles - John Wesley Harding

Your footman barred me from the door 

Said I couldn't see you no more 

What's with this bureaucracy 

When I filled the forms you left for me 

He's a loyal man who waits for you 

Where loyalty is such taboo 

Sixteen keyholes in one straight line 

I look through them from time to time 

The weather down your end looks fine 

But the forecast's grim down mine 

I'm no gamble better understand 

I like to know the story plan 

People say I got no sense 

But I'm waiting for an audience with you 

And all the wrestlers you've employed 

And all the boys with whom you toyed 

You tell me please don't get annoyed 

You're behaving like some helen of troy 

I don't care for original sin 

It's a stupid world we're living in 

Your paid assassin makes me wait 

He eats with fingers off his plate 

He says you've got a pressing date 

With r.i.ps and heads of state 

I know that he won't let me in 

Cos villains always have bad skin 

People say I got no sense 

But I'm waiting for an audience with you 

A plastic surgeon's your best friend 

He's got the means to any end 

He's so efficient, you're so vain 

So we won't see your face again 

Heaven knows how hard you tried 

Hell was such a bumpy ride 

The widow with the holy eyes 

Got a pistol strapped into her thighs 

Says you're as sweet as apple pie 

You only get so bitchy cos you're shy 

But that's a load of papal bull 

I put you on that pedestal 

People say I got no sense 

But I'm waiting for an audience with you 

Give me the strength of hercules 

His fallen arches, water knees 

And please please let me be like I oughtta be 

Lost and lonely, hurt and happy 

With a singer's vanity