Abercrombie Had A Zombie Lyrics - Singles - Larry Clinton's Bluebird Orchestra

Abercrombie Vanderslice the Third 

was a Caspar Milquetoast, if you ever saw one. 

There are lots of stories going round I heard. 

Oh he's not the same as he used to be. 

Oh, Abercrombie had a zombie. 

Abercrombie was so meek and quiet; 

Abercrombie was the tearoom type. 

Oh, you'd never think he'd start a riot; 

then Abercrombie had a zombie. 

Abercrombie never stole a hansom (1). 

Abercrombie never did a bump. 

Never thought of crawling through a transom; 

then Abercrombie had a zombie. 

He never sassed a cop; he never passed a stop. 

He never drove a car into the Astor bar. 

He never tried to wade in the Aquacade; 

He was just an icky (2), I'm afraid. 

But like that other famous sinner, 

Abercrombie met his Waterloo. 

He's the man who didn't come to dinner; 

'cuz Abercrombie had a zombie—or was it two? 

Abercrombie never hit Jack Dempsey (3). 

Abercrombie never cut a rug. 

Never tried to be Vaslav Nijinsky (4); 

then Abercrombie had a zombie. 

Abercrombie never climbed a steeple. 

Abercrombie never heaved a brick. 

And he never went on "We the People" (5); 

then Abercrombie had a zombie. 

He never played roulette; he never made a bet. 

He never learned to fly or gave a blonde the eye. 

He never paid a fine or led a conga line. 

He was just a comic valentine. 

At time the slowest horse gets racy, 

Abercrombie's no exception there. 

He's as daring as that guy Dick Tracy (6), 

since Abercrombie had a zombie—or was it ten? 

(1). Hansom: a type of horse-pulled cab. 

(2). Icky: a "square"; one who is not "hip." 

(3). Jack Dempsey: World Heavyweight Championship from 1919 to 1926. 

(4). Vaslav Najinski (1899/90-1950): Renowned danseur. 

(5). Popular radio program 1930s-1940s (later a TV program). 

(6). Dick Tracy: Comic-strip detective.