1-900-l.l. Cool J Lyrics - Ll Cool J

[phone rings twice] 

Yo.. "Hello 1-900-LL Cool J?" 

Yeah whassup? "Can you please bust a funky rhyme for me?" 

Yeah I can do that, check this one out honey 

I motivate, accelerate 

Devestate, and dominate 

I don't smoke crack so I won't lose weight 

Give me the {pussy} and the money and the mic and I'm straight 

Go to a resteraunt, give me steak 

Then cook my chicken with Shake'n'Bake 

I leave all the preachin to Reverand Flake 

How much money can one black man make? Huh 

I'm what's known as a true dynamiter 

I write rhymes fast without a typewriter 

Go with the flow, but no, I'm not a biter 

Can't compare a cock-a-roach and a spider 

Hell, you might as well get a glass of punch 

cause you're bitin my lyrics like a Nestle Crunch, huh 

And bitin my rhymes ain't slick 

I got your gold teeth marks all over my [phone rings] 

Complications and aggravation 

An unnecessary-sation 

I'm like Sunkist, good vibrations 

Your al-blum, sounds like a compilation 

Cool out, grab a seat and listen.. 

cause I'ma start dismissin 

sucker MC's who's out there frontin 

Talkin all that yang, yo you smokin somethin 

Shoulda treated me royal, yo he wasn't loyal 

Now it's all about chaos and turmoil 

.. gimme that microphone 

I'ma show you the real meaning of the danger zone 

[phone rings] 

Yo.. "Hello is this 1-900-LL Cool J?" 

Yeah whassup? "Can you tell me what you do when you're coolin out?" 

Yo check this out 

Now when I'm coolin out, no time for a granny 

Just a fly girl in t-shirt and panties 

"Can LL {*censored*}?" Man, can he? 

I tell you what, give up the fanny 

Cause on a bedroom tomb, J swift 

Not too big, but nothin to play with 

In addition, you on a mission 

You need to audition for another position 

Doin damage is a crew tradition 

Name your next al-blum intermission 

You're full of preservatives -- plus, 

you're too conservative 

I'm full of flair, savoir faire, debonairre 

There's no competition, for this here 

So don't waste your time and breath 

I'm givin you all a big F 

MC's I envelop.. 

.. as the song goes on, the rhyme develops 

I'm asiatic, acrobatic, charismatic 

You don't want no static 

Anyway, I ain't havin it! 

When I see the microphone -- I'm grabbin it 

Plug it in and take charge 

LL XL, Xtra-Large 

KnowhatI'msayin? Peace