Stay At Home Dad Lyrics - Macklemore

Alright baby girl, lets sing to it 

You're getting your degree, you're going to college 

I'm making music and hoping that Kanye puts me on 

But If I don't make it baby, will you be mad at me 

If I just chilled at home as your stay-home-daddy? 

Come on, I'll make you coffee (coffee), and a bagel (bagel), and another bagel (2 

bagels) 

Keep on reading that paper, then its off you go 

Hun your gonna be late, don't forget your briefcase, drive safe, peace babe 

Wake up the kids, toast the toast, put the raisin bread up in the bowl 

The toast. did I forget the toast? The toast is toast, damnit I burnt the toast 

Start crying, the kid's like Dad what's wrong? Oh its not you kids. 

Its just me I'm alone. Dad's a little bit stressed. Oh FUCK! 

Feeling so sensitive, Im going for a latte, see whats popping at Pilate's 

Hit up my friends like yo what up man, you trying to have a spa date? 

The fuck? Your a stay at home dad... that's not gay! 

Ay, ay, ay, ay, you go to work, I mow the lawn 

Ay, ay, ay, ay, you make the cheese Ill bring the guac (Nacho Sauce, Spanish) 

Ay, ay, ay, ay, you buy the clothes, I'll take them off (?) 

Ay, ay, ay, ay, I'm a stay at home dad, this is my job 

You go girl, get that promotion 

Ill be on the sofa, collecting unemployment 

Yelling at the tv, watching Mory Povich 

Who is this Shelly Jones bitch? 

Shit is 4 o'clock, time for Oprah (Oprah) 

Gospel loves the lord for that 

Who stay at home even though we can't get boners 

But still Ill trade that for your lane cooking lasagna 

Swoopin up the kids from soccer practice (soccer practice) 

Then time for gymnastics, rice crispy treats and wax baggies 

I'm with my kids in the mini-van, listening to MPR 

With the windows down, through the (?) 

Then its homework time, dinner time, set the placemats 

Cut clean, tuck the rugs, rafts and blankets 

Then I lay you down 

pop two cialis 

, put on stain and then go quench my palette 

Is that douche, or does your 

cootch 

just smell like flowers? 

Your feet are calloused, peppermint towlette 

Jasmine pedicure? Sented oil, a perfect backrub? 

I am Aladin, your carpet is magic, your wish is magic 

I would just love to ride your carpet out of the palace 

Now keep on bringing the green baby, and Ill keep on tossin' salad 

Ladies and gentlemen, we have been, conditioned to believe, we must fit in a role? 

Brainwashed by (?), depicting our role must match our genitalia, hail to the no 

Its men who go to work, and women raise the children, but I know the hardest job 

is maintaining the household 

So I am doing a back to back, no tradebacks, with this briefcase, for 2010, I am 

staying at home 

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