Beware The Killer Tents Lyrics - Moxy Fruvous

Beware the killer tents 

Beware the killer tents 

The tents are coming, over the hill 

We thought they were inanimate 

But now they're set to kill 

At Falcon Ridge this summer 

Somehow we've enraged the Falcon Gods 

Tents have turned to creeping, crawling, body-snatching pods 

It was time for the big hoedown, it was Hillsdale '99 

Susan Werner saw a tent pole grow like an ivy vine 

Eddie from Ohio through his rear view mirror saw 

How with reckless abandon they were eatin' people raw 

(Tents, that is) 

The Kennedy's tore Greg Brown 

From his soul food bowl 

Said surely nothing good can come from 

Such a grassy knoll 

Time to cut the mustard 

And beat a fast retreat 

Cause Vance Gilbert's looking tasty 

And those tents they gotta eat 

(They like the dark meat) 

The tents are coming, over the hill 

We thought they were inanimate 

But now they're set to kill 

At Falcon Ridge this summer 

Somehow we've enraged the Falcon Gods 

Tents have turned to creeping, crawling, body-snatching pods 

Roger the Jester wasn't joshing when he said, "They'll kill us all" 

And an unharmonious wail announced the end of Ellis Paul 

Cry, cry, cry as they devoured, run, run, run as they hurl 

The undigested flesh of LJ Booth and Stacey Earle 

They'll execute a Hudson crossing 

As the mother tent commands 

Slithering all the way from Utah Phillips 

Screwdrivers in hand 

To dismantle the machinery 

From where folk feasts are flowing 

So this time next year this field will just be 

Wild Asparagus growing 

The tents are coming, over the hill 

We thought they were inanimate 

But now they're set to kill 

At Falcon Ridge this summer 

Somehow we've enraged the Falcon Gods 

Tents have turned to creeping, crawling, body-snatching pods 

Beware the killer tents 

Tony Trischka's hallowed banjo 

The hungry tents will sup 

And even Ani will be swallowed 

Up, up, up, up, up 

From Ferron they'll exact 

Their macabre vendetta 

And the Nields will never have the chance 

To get over that slut Greta 

No Falcon Ridge performer will escape this ghastly crime 

Except for those who weren't invited 

And those whose names are hard to rhyme 

What of Fruvous, you may ask 

Listen up, let me explain 

We joined forces with the tents 

And turned them into the King of Spain 

Yes, with this terrifying army 

Fruvous futures have been coupled 

We've pissed off the folkies 

But our ticket prices have been doubled 

The tents are coming, over the hill 

We thought they were inanimate 

But now they're set to kill 

At Falcon Ridge this summer 

Somehow we've enraged the Falcon Gods 

Tents have turned to creeping, crawling, body-snatching pods 

Beware the killer tents 

Beware the killer tents