Zeus Vs. Thor Lyrics - Singles - Nicepeter & Epiclloyd

[Intro] 

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! 

ZEUS! 

VS! 

THOR! 

BEGIN! 

[Zeus] 

How dare you challenge my immortal throne? 

I'm the father of the gods, put your daddy on the phone 

Maybe Odin could beg me for a truce, cause when Zeus lets loose 

I'll put your cross-dressing neck in a noose 

I'm like Medusa, I'll stone a motherfucker if he looks at me wrong 

I'm a bull, getting bitches with my swan schlong 

I'm on point like Poseidon's trident 

Rhymes colder than the frosty balls of your giants 

[Thor] 

Allow Thor to retort, you shape-shifting rapist 

And get a taste of this Scandinavian greatness 

Brought forth by my raging thunderstorm force 

Cause I don't get nice, I get Norse (Noirse!) 

Valhalla-atcha boy and we'll flyte it out 

But keep your Asgard up, I Ragnarök the house 

You tongue kiss your sister, that's grosser than a Gorgon 

I'm the thunder down under, nailing Natalie Portman 

Who would ever worship someone as abusive as Zeus is? 

You're ruthless to humans, your crew is like the Clash of the Douches 

Ruling over the Greeks, a people weak and frightened 

I'd spit in your face but you'd probably like it 

[Zeus] 

Only a mindless fool would knock the fathers of philosophy 

My Greeks built the bedrock of democracy 

With astronomy, they charted out the movements of my kin 

All the pimps on Mount Olympus and me the kingpin 

Let this sink in, I'm about to rain on your parade 

Itchy trigger finger quicker with the bolts than Usain 

You're history, I'll be the first to put it in writing 

MC Hammer just got struck twice by greased lightning 

[Thor] 

Rain, old man? This is hardly a drizzle 

You couldn't give the women in my homeland the sniffles 

You can keep your astronomers, I'll sail with the conquerors 

For thousands of kilometers, discovering the continents 

I'm alpha dog dominant, you can't beat me 

I will drop you like Greece's GDP 

Send you deeper underground than the depths of your Hades 

Now make like your daddy, and swallow my babies 

[Zeus] 

You think the underworld scares the ruler of the skies? 

You're joking, Loki must have written your lines 

By the time I've finished whipping you with wits and rhymes 

You'll need a lighter for your ship, cause a viking just died 

[Thor] 

Your glory days are over, The Oracle shoulda told'ya 

I'll kick your wrinkly dick back in your toga like "opa" 

Here, take these drachma for your eyes 

When you get to River Styx, tell your three headed bitch I say hi (woof!) 

[Outro] 

WHO WON? 

WHO'S NEXT? 

YOU DECIDE! 

EPIC- *Noises* RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!