Paultalk Lyrics - In Concert - Peter, Paul & Mary

I'd like to call somebody to the stage that you know as a folk singer 

But that you haven't met in his other role 

Paul is a comedian with a unique point of view and commentary 

And in this capacity, ladies and gentlemen 

Please welcome with me to the stage, my good friend 

My compatriot, Paul Stookey 

That was the sound of a golf ball 

Or if you're a ping-pong enthusiast, that was a sound of a ping-pong ball 

Except generally you'll hear 

That's the sound of a match between a golfer and a ping-pong enthusiast 

I played golf today, 18 holes I played golf, wooo 

I did pretty good too, I think you would have been very proud of me 

Four. Five. Six Seven 

I don't like sports very much 

There's a vast number of sports that I'm not invlved in. 

There's water skiing 

In order to water ski, really you should swim, right? 

You're not gonna stay up there all the time, now 

And I don't like to swim, really 

You know what swimming is to me? 

Staying alive when I'm in the water. 

Barely 

I'll do anything to stay afloat 

Even swallow Co2 cartriges 

But I didn't come out here to talk about sports 

I really, I came out here, Peter talks about status 

And I cannot think of one material object that has more status in this country 

Than the automobile 

And it starts at a very early age now, right? 

I mean, now at 14, kids want the car, right? 

They get cheaters permits so they can drive 

You get a learners permit at 15, a cheaters permit at 14 

And it's, I guess it's really necessary because 

You lose a lot of face calling up a girl and asking her 

If you can peddle right over and pick her up, right? 

They don't really go for that any more 

And if you look back on all the times you had the automobile 

Aside from a few interesting saturday evenings 

You got to admit that one of the nicest times of all 

Was a sunday afternoon, if you could get the car 

You come down the stairs, ker-clunk ker-clunk ker-clunk ker-clunk 

mom, dad, gonna take the car, ha haaa 

Beautiful day for a drive, I think I'll go out 

Ha haaa haaa ha huuu 

And then, and then they level you with that giant killer, right? 

HAVE YOU DONE YOUR HOMEWORK? 

If you were fast, you'd say, mom, dad, have I done my homework? 

Run out the door 

You pick up 3 other great pretenders, 3 oclock in the afternoon 

The time is now 10 oclock in the evening 

The same 4 guys are in the same car 

Well, whata you wanna do? 

I don't know, whada you wanna do? 

Hey, we've been driving for 7 hours 

Hey, I got an idea, he he 

Yeah, what's that? 

Lets go to a drive-in resturant and look at the girls, hehehe 

Oh, ok 

Well, here they are, but they're all from our high school 

Wait a minute, there's a car load over there 

There's a place right next to them, lets go get it 

Don't look at 'em 

Here's the conversation in the girls car you never heard 

Here they come 

There they are 

Don't look at 'em 

Remember the time when drive-ins first opened 

And the girls used to come out to take your order? 

Now you're lucky you know, if you get a girl in slacks who delivers it 

I understand they're even putting in conveyor belts in some drive-in resturants 

There was a time when the little girls came running out in short little skirts 

Remember them? 

You pull in 

And the little girl would come running up 

May I take your order sir? 

Yes, but I don't believe it's on the menu, ha ha 

They don't, they don't let you flirt any more now 

They give you a little green box with a white button on it 

A little speaker grill, right 

What? 

Oh, ok, um, We'd like one cheeseburger deluxe special extra 

The one you have out here with the little white cup 

With that whatever that's in there, we'll take it, whatever it is 

And uh, we'd like two hamburgers medium rare with everything on 'em 

And one hamburger, no, one hamburger, meat, no hamburgers 

One frank, and three chiliburgers, ok? 

Alright, and we'd like two chocolate shakes, regular thick, for spoons you know THICK 

And we'd like two strawberry shakes thin 

Water them down, or milk them down a little, ok 

'Cause we got somebody here with chapped lips and they'd like it thin 

Can, you understand what I mean? 

Are you there? 

Well, could you tell us what we have please? 

And four six-packs 

We'll take it 

And after you get your food order in, you got at least 40 minutes to wait 

Even if it's just a cup of coffee you got 40 minutes to wait 

And you cannot get out of your car, right 

Remember there was a time when drive-ins first opened 

You used to pull in and get out, exchange hellos, greetings 

Evidentally some people were getting out and exchanging 

Something a little heavier than hellos and greetings 

They have policemen there to keep you in your car 

You can be 47 years old and drop your credit cards on the ground 

Officer, that's my wallet 

I don't care who you are kid back in the car 

If you do get out, you gotta be very careful 

Because the new resturants have radar now 

So you have to crawl on your belly between the cars 

You get over to the side of the car 

Psssst 

Psssst down here! 

I can't come up, they'll spot me 

Put down your window 

Power windows, huh? 

Whoo, this is a pretty fancy car 

Hey, you're a pretty fancy broad 

If you did manage to get out of the drive-in resturant without being maimed 

There was a sporting event taking place at the traffic light 

Remember, with all of two characters 

Mr. Businessman who drove a 4-door family sedan with black-wall tires 

Automatic transmission 

Seated next to him in a 1941 gray primer coated Ford 

With it's rear end 2 inches off the ground 

Tomato cans for mufflers 

With his back to the drivers window, his left arm draped over the steering wheel 

His right hand gripped onto the gearshift lever 

A sneer on lips sat THE KID 

Well, Mr. Businessman has just had his bands tightened, and 

Those of you who are not quite sure what I mean 

By having your bands tightened 

The bands are the rings in an automatic transmission 

Which actually affect the gear change 

Uh huh, I'll give you an example 

This is an automobile with tight bands 

This is an automobile with loose bands 

Well, Mr. Businessman has just had his bands tightened 

And he thinks that he will show THE KID a thing or two 

Meanwhile, THE KID 

Has inched these 2 fingers up over his left arm 

This is the universal signlanguage among teenagers for dragging 

You probably recall Winston Churchill during the war years 

Which everyone assumed meant V for victory 

Actually if you'll also recall Winston Churchill smokes a cigar, right? 

He used to hold it in here, right? 

And occationally he would turn to his friends on the stage and say 

Want a drag? 

See, and the kids picked it up 

The light changes 

The light changes to amber and Mr. Businessman decides to get very daring 

He pulls the automatic transmission down into low 

He puts one foot on the brake 

Still holding the foot on the brake, in order to get that extra fast start 

He pulls the automatic transmission down into low 

And pushes down on the accelerator five inches 

The car is internally hemorraging 

He knows, he knows, he knows he's gonna have to have another band job 

He's not gonna let THE KID show him up 

The light changes to green, Mr. Businessman is off 

Looks at the speedometer, 80, 90, 95, 96, 97, 98 miles an hour 

Looks out the window and The Kids not even there 

You know what's there? 

He looks in the rear view mirror and The Kids still back at the corner 

He never races anybody 

He just sits there and scares the hell out of them