Draft Dodger Rag Lyrics - Phil Ochs

I'm just a typical American boy 

From a typical American town 

I believe in God and Senator Dodd 

And an keepin' old Castro down 

And when it came my time to serve 

I knew better dead than red 

But when I got to my old draft board 

Buddy, this is what I said 

Sarge, I'm only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen 

And I always carry a purse 

I got eyes like a bat, and my feet are flat 

My asthma's getting worse 

Consider my career, my sweetheart dear 

My poor old invalid aunt 

Besides, I ain't no fool, and I'm goin' to school 

And I'm workin' in a defense plant 

I've got a dislocated disc and a racked up back 

I'm allergic to flowers and bugs 

And when the bombshell hits, I get epileptic fits 

And I'm addicted to a thousand drugs 

I got the weakness woes, I can't touch my toes 

I can hardly reach my knees 

And if the enemy ever came close to me 

Well, I'd probably start to sneeze 

Sarge, I'm only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen 

And I always carry a purse 

I got eyes like a bat, and my feet are flat 

My asthma's getting worse 

Consider my career, my sweetheart dear 

My poor old invalid aunt 

Besides, I ain't no fool, I'm a goin' to school 

And I'm workin' in a defense plant 

I hate Chou En Lai, and I hope he dies 

But I think you gotta see 

That if someone's gotta go over there 

That someone isn't me 

So, have a ball, Sarge, watch 'em fall 

Yeah, kill me a thousand or so 

And if you ever get a war without any gore 

Well, I'll be the first to go 

Sarge, I'm only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen 

And I always carry a purse 

I got eyes like a bat, and my feet are flat 

My asthma's getting worse 

Consider my career, my sweetheart dear 

I got to water my rubber tree plant 

Besides, I ain't no fool, I'm a goin' to school 

And I'm workin' in a defense plant 

Sarge, I'm only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen 

And I always carry a purse 

I got eyes like a bat, and my feet are flat 

My asthma's getting worse 

Consider my career, my sweetheart dear 

My poor old invalid aunt 

Besides, I ain't no fool, I'm a goin' to school 

And I'm workin' in a defense plant