Kitty Cat's Revenge Lyrics - Ray Stevens

Well, when I was young I had a job 

with the Fire Department Rescue Squad 

and we got a call one day to get a cat out of a drainage line. 

Now the lady was frantic and the day was hot 

and she'd mentioned her kitty was an ocelot 

a fact that did not seem all that important, at the time. 

Cause they're usually neutered, declawed, defanged 

but this little fella still had everything; 

and when I found him back in that drainage pipe 

he was a tremblin', shakin' mess. 

Well I reached to grab 'em but he grabbed me first, 

and that was the worst I thought I'd ever been hurt. 

But that was before I hit my head on that big dirt dobber's nest. 

Since I was on my knees anyway, 

I thought I'd just offer up a little prayer: 

Lord, have mercy on me! Save a place in heaven for me, 

cause we're running outta room in this drainage pipe. 

Yeah, the cat and the bees don't need no help, 

they're doin' just fine right be their selves, but anything you can do for me, Lord, 

I'd sure be much obliged. 

Well, everything I grabbed was either tooth or claw, 

it was like tryin' to fight a circle saw. 

A those bees, Lord have mercy friends, 

they were all over me! 

It was a stingin', bittin', clawin' fight, and then I dropped my big flashlight; 

but it really didn't matter - I was hurtin' so bad I coudn't see. 

And on my hands and knees I couldn't stand up, 

and I couldn't turn around so I had to back up. 

But I couldn't see or remember which way that I had come in from. 

And I took a wrong turn and the grave got steep and me and the cat dropped 30 feet 

and most of those bees followed us down that sewage treatment pond. 

You've heard of steppin' in it friends? I was up to my clavicle. 

Lord, have mercy on me! Save a place in Heaven for me, 

cause all of my strength is nearly gone! 

Yeah, those bees are stingin' and the cat cain't swim, and I cain't get away from either one of them! 

I think it's time you intervene, Lord, call somebody home!! 

Then my buddies found me and pulled me, and, friends, I looked like a Christmas Tree. 

And they sprayed the bees and gave the lady back her cat. 

And I went home and showered 14 times, 

got bandaged up, and I did just fine; 

but in all my life I've never hurt so bad or smelled quite like that. 

And I can remember prayin': 

Lord, have mercy on me! 

Save a place in Heaven for me, 

cause we're running outta room in this drainage pipe! 

Yeah, the cat and the bees don't need no help, 

they're doin' just fine right by their selves; 

but anything you can do for me, Lord, I'd sure be much obliged! 

Anything you can do for me, Lord, I'd sure be much obliged!