Vacation Bible School Lyrics - Ray Stevens

well, where i grew up in talapusa 

when summertime came we all use'ta 

go to a place called vacation bible school 

we'd look up verses in the bible 

make paper cut outs of the twelve disciples 

and memorize the ten commandments and the golden rule 

i remember once when my class made 

a big ol' batch of lemonade 

to be used by a student teacher at the sunday sermon 

yeah we put in lemons, and sugar and water 

and even though i knew i shouldn't ought'er 

i put in some moonshine i got from my uncle herman 

now that sunday dawned real hot and dusty 

and to say the lease we were all real thirsty 

and that seminary started hittin' that lemonade 

and kept it well in reach 

then to the best of my recollection 

before the deacons were halfway through the collection 

he stood up and drank from the pitcher and began to preach Ho! 

oh the things we used to do 

in vacation bible schoo' 

when i was just a barefoot boy in dixie 

if my mama had only known 

even a half of what went on 

she'd cut a switch off of a hickory 

she'd a whipped me 

well he told that samson didn't take no sass 

and whipped the philistines with the jaw bone of an ass 

but to tell the truth, he got all that just a little mixed up 

i can't tell you exactly what he said 

but the minute he said it every face went red 

but he just paused, and kinda staggered and then he hiccuped 

he gave botanical names for mideast flora 

told ALL about sodom and gomorrah 

and though his speech was slurred 

it was very graphic 

he used words i'd never heard back then 

and even now i only hear 'em when 

i'm stuck in a new york cab 

in five o clock traffic 

well the sermon ended and he didn't rest 

he went right into the gettysburg address 

and then a stirring rendition of casey at the bat 

he did impressions of garbo and gary cooper 

and i tell ya friends, i thought it was super 

'cause for props he grabbed the organ players wig and a deacon's hat 

oh the things we used to do 

in vacation bible schoo' 

when i was just a barefoot boy in dixie 

if my mama had only known 

even a half of what went on 

she'd cut a switch off of a hickory 

she'd a whipped me 

well we never had heard any preachin' like that 

and we never invited that young man back 

but to tell the truth, i thought it was a pitty 

but i heard he went up preachin' that day 

and he gave up cussin' and lemonade 

and went to selling aluminum siding in yazoo city 

oh the things we used to do 

in vacation bible schoo' 

when i was just a barefoot boy in dixie 

if my mama had only known 

even a half of what went on 

she'd cut a switch off of a hickory 

she'd a whipped me