Happy Birthday Don't Die Lyrics - Rhett Miller - Rhett Miller

Once a year we celebrate 

With stupid hats and plastic plates 

The fact that you were able to make 

Another trip around the sun 

And the whole clan gathers round 

And gifts and laughter do abound 

And we let out a joyful sound 

And sing that stupid song 

Happy birthday! 

Now you're one year older! 

Happy birthday! 

Your life still isn't over! 

Happy birthday! 

You did not accomplish much 

But you didn't die this year 

I guess that's good enough 

So let's drink to your fading health 

And hope you don't remind yourself 

The chance of finding fame and wealth 

Decrease with every year 

Does it feel like you're doing laps 

And eating food and taking naps 

And hoping that someday perhaps 

Your life will hold some cheer 

Happy birthday! 

What have you done that matters? 

Happy birthday! 

You're starting to get fatter 

Happy birthday! 

It's downhill from now on 

Try not to remind yourself 

Your best years are all gone 

If cryogenics were all free 

Then you could live like Walt Disney 

And live for all eternity 

Inside a block of ice 

But instead your time is set 

This is the only life you get 

And though it hasn't ended yet 

Sometimes you wish it might 

Happy birthday! 

You wish you had more money 

Happy birthday! 

Your life's so sad it's funny 

Happy birthday! 

How much more can you take? 

But your friends are hungry 

So just cut the stupid cake 

Happy birthday! 

Happy birthday! 

Happy birthday, dear... 

(Random calling out of 

Names, including "Skippy, 

The bush kangaroo")