Kill A Kitten Lyrics - Stephen Lynch

When the game of life makes you feel like quittin', 

It helps a lot if you kill a kitten 

Mark my words, cause from where I'm sittin, 

You can't go wrong if you kill a kitten. 

There's no crime that you'll be commitin' 

I know the law, you can kill a kitten. 

If you need yarn for that scarf you're knittin' 

Youll get plenty when you kill a kitten 

Feed it turpentine, or break its spine, 

Crush it with your shoe, as long as you... 

Kill a kitten 

If the one you love isn't quite as smitten, 

She'll like you better when you kill a kitten 

To quote the bible, cause that's where it's written 

If yee loveth Jesus, yee must kill a kitten 

Flush it down the can, hit it with your van, 

Throw it at a train, make it snort cocaine 

Drown it in a lake, bake a kitty cake 

Stick some TNT up its cat booty 

Do what you must do, as long as you... 

Kill a kitten 

Killing kittens isn't easy, 

And if the thought makes you feel queasy, 

Grab a pitchfork from the shed, 

And kill a puppydog instead! 

Kill a kitten, kill a kitten, for a mitten 

Kill a kitten (4x) 

Kill....