Desperate Lyrics - Singles - Suburban Legends

What the hell is wrong with me? 

I'm in a band, ladies can't you see 

Please don't judge me by the car that I drive 

Or the fact that I haven't had a date since '95 

Come on, don't go away 

Don't listen to your friends when they that I am gay 

I try so hard but I just can't get no play 

Don't have any STDs 

Come on, I'm begging on my knees 

Come on get close just ignore the fleas 

We will take anything that walks . . . 

Because we're desperate 

I know I'm not a handsome man 

'cause I look like an ogre with a farmer's tan 

And every time the ladies see me and I'm walking their way 

They say, "Brian smells, everybody stay away" 

Oh ladies, can't you see 

I can't help it because I'm ugly 

But I'm in a band, don't that count for something 

Come on now, don't delay 

'cause if you don't call then I'll probably rent-a-date 

And my tab keeps rising, 'cause I do it every day 

Oh ladies, can't you see 

I'm in a band, why aren't you attracted to me? 

I don't care if you're underage 

Just as long as you'll be seen with me in a public place 

What's it gonna take? (What's it gonna take?) 

For you help me bake cookies? 

Doo-Wah-Doo 

'cause I need to know 

I'm all hot and ready 

And I got to go . . . 

Because we're Desperate 

Why oh why must I have this rash 

No girls talk to me they just step back 

Should I lift weights? Would that make me more sexual? 

Maybe wear glasses would that make me intellectual? 

Come on lets do it fast 

'cause I'm all hot and ready and it just wont last 

And I got 20 dollars what can I get for that?