Stone Cold Sober Lyrics - Tankard

Hey, listen, we're so sick of it 

Fire water is the devil's drink 

Don't want it, no more chugalug 

Empty Tankard? Fill it up with milk! 

Minerals! Vegetables! Health food and some peppermint tea 

No more of that liquid death 

No more beer! No more booze! We'll play healthy metal instead 

No whiskey, you can have our beer 

We'll be living in sobriety 

Immortal! Drinking is a sin 

Prohibition is a good idea 

Alcoholic days are gone - gonna fight those evil ways 

Stone cold sober - gonna stick to the perrier 

Alcohol is no more fun - gonna drink our tonic straight 

Stone cold sober - and we're all gonna lose some weight 

Don't do it! Throw your beer away! 

There's a better way to have some fun 

At parties, if you wanna booze 

Get a six-pack of tomato juice 

Minerals! Vegetables! Health food and some peppermint tea 

No more of that liquid death 

No more beer! No more booze! We'll play healthy metal instead 

Believe it, we are clean and dry 

We could play a gig at double a 

Headbangers on a water binge 

If you're heavy don't you drink and dive 

Alcoholic days are gone - gonna fight those evil ways 

Stone cold sober - gonna stick to the perrier 

Alcohol is no more fun - gonna drink our tonic straight 

Stone cold sober - and we're all gonna lose some weight 

The future - we can see it now 

Merchandizing heavy metal link 

Thrash soda in the water bar 

Multivitamins - we got our fill 

Minerals! Vegetables! Health food and some peppermint tea 

No more of that liquid death 

No more beer! No more booze! We'll play healthy metal instead 

Alcoholic days are gone - gonna fight those evil ways 

Stone cold sober - gonna stick to the perrier 

Alcohol is no more fun - gonna drink our tonic straight 

Stone cold sober - and we're all gonna lose some weight