Headline News Lyrics - Greatest Hits, Vol. 2 - Weird Al Yankovic

Once there was this kid who 

Took a trip to Singapore 

And brought along his spraypaint 

And when he finally came back 

He had cane marks all over his bottom 

He said that it was from when 

The warden whacked it so hard 

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Once there was this girl who 

Swore that one day she would be 

A figure skating champion 

And when she finally made it 

She saw some other girl who was better 

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So she hired some guy 

To club her in the knee cap 

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They got paid for their sound-bites 

And sold their TV movie rights 

And then there was this guy who 

Made his wife so mad one night 

That she cut off his weiner 

And when he finally came to 

He found that little Mr. Happy was missing 

Photos 

He couldn't quite explain 

It had always just been there 

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