Val Kilmer Lyrics - Great Burrito Extortion Case - Bowling For Soup

I always thought my movie would be a comedy 

Not quite the tragedy that it's become 

More slapstick than chick-flick 

More 'Caddyshack' than 'Breakfast At Tiffany's' 

So, thank me at the podium 

For a lifetime of contribution 

Turn on the cameras, someone cue the extras 

Hair and makeup, to the set 

Because the big screen's calling 

Final casting call 

It's your big shot, baby 

You're the next big star 

Of another stupid movie 

'Bout a guy with a broken heart 

Who's falling apart 

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You're headed for the cutting room floor 

(Headed for the cutting room floor) 

And in the sequel, honey 

I'm the guy who gets the girl 

So if you miss my movie, get the DVD 

Check out the chemistry between you and me 

Less 'Raising Arizona' 

More 'Steel Magnolias' 

So when you walk down that red carpet 

I hope you trip and fall 

I hope someone squirts you with a water gun 

A super soaker filled with pee 

Because the big screen's calling 

Final casting call 

It's your big shot, baby 

You're the next big star 

Of another stupid movie 

'Bout a guy with a broken heart 

Who's falling apart 

You're headed for the cutting room floor 

(Headed for the cutting room floor) 

And in the sequel, honey 

I'm the guy who gets the girl 

All apologies to Kevin Costner 

And that chick from 'Monster' 

Give me Adam Sandler, Will Ferrell 

Belushi and even Val Kilmer 

He was funny in 'Real Genius' 

What about 'Top Gun'? 

No, 'Top Gun' wasn't funny, whatever 

'Top Secret' was funny too 

But he sucked as Batman 

Because the big screen's calling 

Final casting call 

It's your big shot, baby 

You're the next big star 

Of another dumb movie 

'Bout a guy with a broken heart 

I'm falling apart 

Steven Spielberg's calling 

And he's sending a car 

It's your big shot, baby 

You're the next big star 

Of another stupid movie 

'Bout a guy with a broken heart 

Who's falling apart 

You're headed for the cutting room floor 

(Headed for the cutting room floor) 

And in the sequel, honey 

I'm the guy who gets the girl 

Who gets the girl 

I'm the guy that gets the girl 

(Adam Sandler, Will Ferrel, Belushi and Akroid) 

Who gets the girl 

(Chris Farley, Bill Murray in Stripes) 

I'm the guy that gets the girl 

(Eddie Murphy 'til 90, Chris Rock and John Candy) 

Who gets the girl 

(The cast of Hollywood Knights) 

I'm the guy that gets the girl 

(Mike Myers, Jim Carry and the Farelly Brothers) 

Who gets the girl 

(Are more my style) 

I'm the guy that gets the girl 

(Terms Of Endearment, I didn't get it) 

Who gets the girl 

(I'd much rather shut up and smile) 

I'm the guy that gets the girl 

(Adam Sandler, Will Ferrel, Belushi and Akroid) 

Who gets the girl 

(Chris Farley, Bill Murray in Stripes) 

I'm the guy that gets the girl 

(Eddie Murphy 'til 90, Chris Rock and John Candy) 

Who gets the girl 

(The cast of Hollywood Knights) 

I'm the guy that gets the girl