Sheriff Fatman Lyrics - Hello, Good Evening, Welcome. And Goodbye: Live At Maida Vale - Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine

Now, Sheriff Fatman started out 

In business, a granny farmer 

He was infamous for fifteen minutes 

And he appeared on Panorama 

But then he somehow got himself on board 

The Starship Enterprise Allowance Scheme 

With a Prince of Wales award 

For pushing Valium and amphetamines 

Moving up onto second base 

Behind Nicholas Van Wotsisface 

Six foot six and a hundred tons 

The undisputed king of the slum 

More aliases than Klaus Barbie 

The master butcher of Leigh-on-Sea 

Just about to take the stage 

The one and only, hold the front page 

Fatman's got something to sell 

To the capitol's homeless 

At the Crossroads Motel 

For the no-fixed-abodeless 

Where you can live life in style 

You can sleep in a closet 

And if you flash him a smile 

He'll take your teeth as deposit 

There's bats in the belfry 

The windows are jammed 

The toilets ain't healthy 

And he don't give a damn 

He just chuckles and smiles 

Laughs like a madman 

Born again Rachman 

Here comes Sheriff Fatman 

With his Valium, amphetamines 

His sick notes and his phony prescriptions 

And just when you thought it was safe 

To go back into kitchen 

Dead legs and cracked heads 

Bunk-beds and breakfasts 

Moving up onto second base 

Behind Nicholas Van Wotsisface 

Six foot six and a hundred tons 

The undisputed king of slums 

More aliases than Klaus Barbie 

The master butcher of Leigh-on-Sea 

Just about to take the stage 

The one and only, hold the front page 

Moving up now to take the place 

Of Nicholas Van Wotsisface 

Six foot six and a hundred tons 

The undisputed king of the slums 

With more aliases than Klaus Barbie 

The master butcher of Leigh-on-Sea 

In a hatchback from Notre Dame 

The one and only Sheriff Fatman 

In goes another left hook and now I'm losing my patience 

Someone call up Roger Cook and the United Nations 

He's buying up houses for the has beens and helping 

From Lands End to South end to Chelsea 

There's bats in the belfry 

The windows are jammed 

The toilets ain't healthy 

He don't give a damn 

He just chuckles and smiles 

Laughs like a madman 

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Sheriff Fatman 

Sheriff Fatman, Sheriff Fatman, Sheriff Fatman, brainchumps