Donald Trump Vs. Ebeneezer Scrooge Lyrics - Singles - Epic Rap Battles Of History

Wake up, Scrooge, I'm about to take a Dickens of a dump 

On this lonely, homely little miserable grump 

I'm like the star on a Christmas tree, you're like the stump 

I'm not known for my heart but you're still getting trumped 

You remind me of my ex-wife in a bikini, cause you disgust me 

Keep your TB from Tiny Timmy away from me, don't even touch me 

I don't shake hands, I don't make fans, I ruin rappers faster than Scottish lands 

Even Jay-Z knows what a pimp I am, I got my name on the front of the business, man! 

My raps'll haunt you, make you think you're going insane 

You're about to get whooped by three emcee's of the ethereal plane 

So when the clock strikes, prepare to enter a world of Christmas pain 

Cause I'm out, I got my own f***ing problems, call me 2 Chainz! 

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How dare you disturb me when I'm napping in my chair 

You're a crappy rap-spitting apparition, I ain't scared 

Of this random phantom, haunt all you want, I don't care 

I do not believe in ghosts and I don't believe that hair 

Don't panic, Scrooge, but you're about to crash! 

I'm J.P. Morgan, the Ghost of Rich Dudes Past! 

Who's properly rocking the Monopoly mustache! 

Yo, I own the railroad, I run these tracks! 

You got dumped on a bench, now you're pissed at the world 

You shoulda made like Sebastian, and kissed the girl! 

Because your greed is the curse that's gonna tear you apart 

What good is your purse if you're poor in your heart? 

Bah humbug, your raps don't unnerve me, they're atrocious 

What frightens me the most is your gross ghost proboscis 

Business and success, that's the life I've selected 

So enough with your pictures from the past. I'm not affected! 

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Well you're about to be right now 

I'm the ghost of what's right now 

Just take a lesson from Yeezy 

You missing the point, Ebeneezy 

There's more to life than your work, take it easy 

Even I can make time for Azizy 

Best put some friends on your wish list 

Cause you don't know the spirit of Christmas 

If you did then you would at this moment 

Be sharing your money with some of the homeless! 

No! This isn't happening, oh, this is maddening agony, wait 

Actually, harkening back to the dead Donald's lecture 

I still am expecting a final specter! 

The Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come: 

Boo! 

You're gonna die 

Noo one to love you and no one to cry 

Alone by youself on the bed of your death 

With a stench of regret on your last dying breath 

Cause you've chosen the path of a selfish man 

With Tiny Tim's innocent blood on your hands 

The penance you should pay for the way you behave 

Is written as plain as the name on this grave 

Are these the shadows of things that will be 

Or things that may be only? 

If I depart from my course can they change 

Say it is thus with what you show me 

I promise to mend my ways 

A friend to all men is what I will become 

It's Christmas! I haven't missed my chance to be different 

God bless us every