Charliesomething Lyrics - Singles - Eric Schwartz

To my dearest little sister, Sally Brown, its Charlie here 

A lot of things have happened since you skipped town 

For one, Im queer, for about a year 

I know, of course, you might be less than psyched 

About the path I took 

But I had to face the fact that I kind of liked 

How Linus looked, before he booked 

'cause Patty came out and left me shocked and confused 

She shacked up with Marcy, who was clearly abused 

And I picked up a needle that had just been used before 

Now Lucys playing hockey, her team just won the Stanley Cup 

Schroeder dresses just like Beethoven did and ties her up 

And she barks like a pup 

And the hunt is on for Linus, 

But as you know, hes hard to catch 

You see, he found that lots of interesting things could grow in the Pumpkin Patch 

But the feds are no match 

'cause he and the red-haired girl split the scene 

The psilocybin sultan and the cannabis queen 

And Franklin shot Tupac and now he aint nowhere to be seen 

Break it down! 

Woodstock got eaten by the cat who lives next door 

Snoopy got neutered and now he aint Joe Cool no more 

And hes still kind of sore 

And Pig Pen odd, was just a matter of time 

He couldnt keep a job on account of the grime 

And he couldnt face a future of small-town crime no more 

So write us all a letter and tell us how the city is 

Freda said she saw you, so tell me hows the porno biz, 

My little sis, the porno biz, my little sis