The Best Things In Life Lyrics - Singles - Half Man Half Biscuit

My Uncle Charlie is a cynical man 

And his wifes a touch skeptical, too. 

They've got one of those stickers 

In the back of their van; it says: 

We've seen the prices at the zoo. 

Well today I knocked upon their door 

And said that I was passing, 

And charlie launched a scathing attack. 

When I asked him what I'd done, he said 

"You stupid bastard! We live in a cul-de-sac!" 

Went to Dali's party; it was fancy dress. 

I just stuck an apple in my face. 

I saw a chap who obviously was out to impress, 

Reckoned he'd beat Gagarin into space. 

He said "Hi there boys! 

Like I'm sorry I'm late! 

But I was getting done up 

As a mobile thrash acetate!" 

Me, I got bored 

So I went home, 

Got into bed, 

And came to the conclusion... 

There is nothing better in life 

Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a Birol 

There is nothing better in life 

Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a Biro 

There is nothing better in life 

Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a Biro 

There is nothing better in life 

Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a Biro 

On a Saturday Night instead of going to a pub.