Ed Lyrics - Happy Hour - King Missile

Ed was at the end of his rope, an expression he detested 

"There is no rope", he would scream at the laughing walls 

There is only the end, no hope, no rope 

Ending is better than mending 

Doors of perception, windows of opportunity 

These are illusions like the killing floor 

Ed spoke in a squeaky whiny voice 

With perhaps a slight tinge of glee 

But this was only because he couldn't be bothered 

To try to develop a manner of speaking 

That truly reflected his mood 

This is a vaccum, there is no air in this room 

Despair is no fun anymore 

Nihilism knocked three times on the ceiling 

But the rosy fingers of dawn always inserted themselves 

In the nose of unfulfilled promises 

Angels sang, "Heysanna, Hosanna" 

Paralyzed prima-donnas danced in the streets all day 

But when the darkness came, everybody went home 

I was ready, everyone else was asleep 

And while it might have been a relief to see 

That I was right all along 

Here I am still, alone and trapped 

Awaiting the endless end 

And I can turn it all around 

And laugh at it and laugh at myself 

I can laugh louder than the walls, the halls, the waterfalls 

Louder than Charles De Gaul or Fulton Mall 

But I don't know what I'm laughing at 

I don't know just what I think is so goddamn funny 

I don't know why I don't just shut up 

And give up and lay down and die 

"What do I have to complain about anyway?" 

Ed asked his Picasso, "I'm a millionaire" 

This wasn't actually true 

Ed's Picasso was an obvious forgery 

His three Rothkos had just been singled out 

In an article in 'Art forum' entitled 

'The Three Most Insignificant Paintings of Mark Rothko' 

And his Barbara Krugers had been irreparably damaged 

By Rein Sanction and a few other bands from Gainesville 

That refused to acknowledge the value of art 

"Come to think of it", Ed mused 

To the laminated roadkill coffee table that he had purchased 

When times had seemed slightly less bleak 

"Come to think of it, not only does art have no intrinsic value 

But my collection has no extrinsic value either" 

"I know I'm not a millionaire 

But that's no reason to complain 

There is no reason to complain 

There is no reason to do anything" 

"I don't believe in reason, objective reality or collective farming 

I don't believe in public speaking 

Which is another reason why I'm here alone 

I don't believe in life or death 

I would kill myself but I don't believe in suicide" 

Ed put on a red shirt and took a quick walk around the block 

While whistling softly to himself 

He reentered his apartment screaming 

"There is no life on this planet" 

"Jehovah One replaced all life with machinery five centuries ago 

The so-called Industrial Revolution 

Was just another hoax and we all fell for it 

'Cause we were all programmed to, even I fell for it 

I believe in the steam engine 

Even though I don't believe in anything" 

Logical inconsistency is the Mr. Bubble I bathe in 

Each and every evening, except for yesterday evening 

When I roller bladed over to the Masonic Temple 

To play pinochle with Pope John Paul the First 

I really had no choice in the matter" 

Ed certainly could go on and on 

And he did, and he would and he will 

Until you or I or somebody does something about it 

Senator Sterno of Louisiana 

Announced over closed circuit television 

And as long as he continues to pontificate pointlessly 

I will do nothing 

Ed walked away from the program feeling fortified and stapled 

His brain was buzzing, the way it always did just after 'Jeopardy' 

He loaded up the micro bus with atlases and poseidons 

And headed for Pope County 

"I've had it", he sang, "I've had it with puns, alliteration 

Russian literature, Italian neorealism 

Meaningless cross references and laundry lists of nonsense 

I shall drive without a license, without clothing, without direction" 

"And if I make it to Arkansas, fine 

And if I'm running late, if I'm running a numbers game 

It doesn't matter, I shall keep on running" 

"Yes, this is the answer, this is the ending, I shall keep on running 

Because a body in motion tends to stay emotional 

And it's better to feel, pain is better than emptiness 

Emptiness is better than nothing, and nothing is better than this"