Fishin' Hole Lyrics - 3 Balloons - Stephen Lynch

Wanna have some quality time with my son 

So I brought him down to the fishin' hole 

Didn't like the feelin' of that worm in his hand 

Got mad, threw down his fishin' pole 

Said, "That's alright, son. Let's go and get an ice cream" 

"Let your old man buy you a treat" 

But he didn't like no flavors up upon that wall 

Started crying, and ran into the street... 

He's an asshole, my kid's an asshole 

I swear it just don't float my boat 

Always crying, always crying 

Made me wanna punch him in his little throat 

Called my lady up to tell her what had happened 

How our son had run away 

She said, "Don't worry, baby, I will talk to him" 

"And everything will be okay" 

My lady's an asshole, she's an asshole 

Her assholishness is off the charts 

Always perfect, always perfect 

Made me wanna punch her in her lady-parts 

I decided I'd go down to the bar 

And drown my sorrows in a beer 

But the sign outside said 'Closed For Renovations' 

'We'll open up again next year'... 

That bar is an asshole, it's an asshole 

Oh, the worst bar in the land! 

Always closing, always closing 

Can't punch a bar, cause you'll hurt your hand 

I went home to forget about my troubles 

Sat down in my favorite eazy chair 

But I couldn't relax from the pain I was feelin' 

As my hemorrhoid began to flair... 

My asshole's an asshole, a real butthole 

Needs to put his asshole-self in check! 

Always burning, always itching 

Made me wanna punch him in his asshole neck 

Late one night, lyin' awake in bed 

Mmmm, a realization came 

Are there really assholes everywhere I look? 

Or am I the one to blame? 

Maybe I just do not say the things I should say 

And I don't do the things I ought 

So I took a good, hard look at myself in the mirror 

And this is what I thought... 

The guy who sold me this mirror is an asshole, he's an asshole 

Son of a bitch said it was antique 

He was lyin', he was lyin' 

Made me wanna punch him in his salesman cheek 

I'm on a real asshole streak 

I could open up an asshole boutique 

I think this song has reached its peak 

Goodbye, you assholes, see you next week!