History Lesson Lyrics - 3 Balloons - Stephen Lynch

Stephen:I have to redo the vocals for Medieval Bush. 

Friends: Why? 

Stephen: Cause I said 1570's muff instead of 1470's muff and the medieval period ended at the beginning of the 16th century. 

Friends: Wait! So how do you know this? 

Stephen: Cause I used to be a teacher. 

Friends: (laugh)You used to be a teacher? 

Stephen: Yes 

Friend: Professor? 

Stephen: No, I taught elementary school and I got fired for I had an unorthodox way of teaching. In which I would bring my guitar in and sing the lessons to the kids. 

Friend: Of course you did. 

Stephen: Okay, okay let me find a lesson for you...Ben Franklin 

"Ben Franklin went out one night, 

tied a key to the end of a kite, 

electricity struck so bright, 

write it down muthafuckas" 

Friends: You called the kids motherfuckers? 

Stephen: Some of them were motherfuckers yes. 

Friends: Science 

Stephen: Um... 

"Issac Newton sat under a tree, 

an apple hit him in the head so he, 

said holy shit thats gravity, 

so write it down muthafuckas" 

I have a million of theses. 

Friends: Pilgrims 

Stephen: Okay....hey.... 

"Pilgrims raced against the clock, 

lookin for a place to dock, 

they said fuck it here's Plymouth Rock, 

write it down muthafuckas." 

Friends: I don't like the fact that you are implying that the pilgrims were lazy. 

Stephen: Im not implying anything. 

Friend: Wright Brothers 

Stephen: Uh.... 

" A dude named Orville Wright, 

told his brother lets invinflight, 

so Wilbur said "ight", 

write it down muthafuckas" 

Yes, he said "ight" 

Friend: Wilbur said "ight"? 

Stephen: In my story he did. 

Friend: Wilbur was street in your story? 

Stephen: Yes 

Friend: Word 

Stephen: See, you can't stump me 

Friend: Slavery? 

Stephen: Uh there is nothing funny about slavery...well... 

"Abe Lincoln lead the nation, 

freed slaves form the plantations, 

inmansa-muthafucka-proclamation, 

write it down anaem-ops." 

Friend: Gandhi! 

Stephen:Uh...I did not have one for him. Uh...hold on, hold on. Gandhi...Uh...alright. 

(slowly) "Gandhi is what you said, 

an Indian with a bald head, 

he was a bit under fed, 

write is down muthafuckas!" 

Fried from that job! 

Friend: Your a genius.