Vampire Club Lyrics - Boo Hoo - Voltaire

Oh, the moon was full 

And the color of blood 

The night the pirates came 

To the Vampire Club 

Their leader was tall and snide and slim 

He looked like a gay Captain Morgan 

Well, he recognized a Vampire 

From his school 

And he did something that was 

Most uncool, he said, 

"Hey everybody, see that fool in the cape?" 

His name's Bernie Weinstein 

And he's in the 8th grade!" 

Fangs were flying, capes were torn 

Hell hath no fury like a Vampire scorned 

The number one rule in this game: 

Never call one by his real name 

Wigs were pulled, top hats were crushed 

By pointy boots in a rush 

And Boris at the bar orders a Bud and says, 

"It's just another night at the Vampire Club." 

Missi lost a fang in the ladies room 

And we all laughed and called her 'Snaggletooth!" 

And Dee was mad cause he broke his cane 

And he flushed his contacts down the drain 

There was so much angst after the fight 

Vlad and Akasha broke up that night 

While some rivet-heads danced in a puddle of goo 

That used to be "Father" you-know-who! 

Well, its hard to believe but we're still around 

And when we hang out it's upside down 

Dressed in black from toe to head singing, 

"Bela Lugosi's still undead!" 

A gaggle of goths is a peaceful site 

We'd do anything to avoid a fight 

But if you really want to see some gore and blood 

Wait 'til the Ravers come to the Vampire Club